Forever Young
by EnglandOCfan
Summary: Ryan and Marissa after Johnny died, so a bit of an AU - Everyone's favourite couple realising things they never had chance to - R/M and some S/S. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

It was a late night and yet again Marissa was sat at the lifeguard stand. Sleepless nights are beginning to take over.If she woke up in the middle of the night she used to ring Ryan or Summer, but right now Summer has Seth and Ryan has Sadie. That name alone made Marissa shudder. When they first broke up Marissa on the odd occasion turned to Volchek as a drinking buddy, but hastily gave that up. Now she was completely sober and dealing with the heartbreak of losing Ryan without the ease that the bottle bought to her. 

Marissa thought back to 2 months ago where she and Ryan were happy or not arguing. It wasn't that they didn't love each other, they both did unconditionally, it was that Marissa was so scared of letting Ryan down and he was so scared of loosing Marissa, there own fears and worries and lack of communication is what ruined their relationship. It seemed like years ago now though. When she saw Ryan in school he would always shrug her off or completely look in the other direction, Marissa had hung out with Seth as Summer but she hadn't spent longer than minutes with Ryan. And her heart missed it, she missed him. She looked at her clock in her cell phone and as it said 2:30am she decided that it was about time that she head back to the Roberts house.

"Come on Baby" She said into the darkness as she slowly got up and walked down the ramp.

Marissa liked living with Summer, it was nice to have a stable family home again. It was also nice to see her mother with doctor Roberts. The more attention she paid to the relationship the more she forgot about her daughters. She drove up to the mansion and put her car in park and made her way up to the steps. Marissa had been out for about 4 hours now, and couldn't wait to get in her bed. Once she was up in her room, she removed the little make up that she had on her face. Marissa looked through the door to Summer and Seth who were sleeping soundly, and as soon as the morning came, he would be out of there pretty fast, racing back to the Cohen house, before Sandy or Kirsten realised that he wasn't in his room. It was their routine, She smiled towards her best friends and shut the door that adjoined the two rooms, and quietly crept into her room. Once she was under the comforter the cool material fell against her skin. She curled up into a ball and placed her hand on her stomach.

"Night Baby, I love you" It was strange and some people may even call Marissa crazy, but this was her comfort, knowing that she was going to be a Mommy and that she was going to have a baby to love unconditionally would stop her from going down the self destructive route. Yes, Marissa Cooper was having a baby.

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The Sun shone brightly through the pool house. As this begun to wake up Ryan he sat up and made his way outside. Again the time was sunny. As he made his way into the kitchen his coffee and cereal was laid out for him as a bagel was out for Seth, with a note saying, 'Gone to the office' from Kirsten and a note from Sandy saying 'Gone to business meet in LA, love you all should be back by dinner'. Sandy and Kirsten were close to their children, Ryan thought himself as their child, they were more enough his parents than his old family used to be. Kirsten had been working double for Newmatch since Julie went on her honeymoon so Ryan and Seth were used to being alone, He liked the quiet but it wasn't anything compared to the bustling family kitchen that he loved. He sat down all alone in his home. He picked up the phone and dialled Sadie's number, so she could join him for breakfast.

"Hey, Ive got extra cap'n'crunch and I thought that you might like some?"

"O yeh, I will be there in a sec, Love you!"

Ryan smiled, he didn't not love her but he didn't love her either.

"You too, see you in a minute"

He placed the phone back in the cradle and made his way back to the pool house to tidy up before Sadie got there. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a picture frame that was lying face-down on the counter. In the frame was a picture of Ryan and Marissa, the day when they all took Jimmy Cooper's boat out and spent the day together. It had been a long time since he had spent any time with Seth or Summer, or Marissa for that matter. He took the picture out of the frame and placed one in there of Sadie and himself, he took one last look of Marissa in the picture and put it in his side draw,

"That's over now" he had to reassure himself. Because everyone but Sadie knew he wanted back

Within the hour Sadie came over they were both back in bed. This was most of their relationship, physical but maybe something more. All Ryan could think about was how guilty he felt by throwing out a picture of Marissa and him,

"So what shall we do today babe?" Sadie spoke up from the position of his chest.

"I don't mind, whatever you want to do is fine by me" he kissed the top of her head and she snuggled back against him.

"How about we go down to the shops on the pier and then to the beach, I will be in a bikini!" he pretended to sound enthusiastic as they both got out of bed and ready for the day.


	2. Chapter 2

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Marissa was awoken also this Friday morning, except this time it was by morning sickness and all the other joys that come from a pregnancy. Marissa was hunched over the toilet , another normal routine to begin the day. It was good now that she had graduated Harbour, they finished earlier than normal schools because it was private. When she had morning sickness on a school day it used to be hell. Or when she would be in a French class counting down the minutes she could move from her uncomfortable chair or rub her feet because they hurt so much. Marisa could hear shuffling around in Summer's room, so instead she just started running the shower.

Nobody except Marissa and her doctors knew yet. Doctors reminded her of her day. She was heading down to the clinic on the pier for her first official sonogram. Well it was here second but this time she would be able to see a clearer picture of her baby, instead of the small seed like picture she got lat time. Lots of mixed emotions went over Marissa, fear, depression ,nerves. But in the end it was ok, at the end of all of this she would have a healthy child. Somewhere along the line she would have to tell Summer and her family. And the father, but today she just wanted to go and make sure that everything is as it should be. She got dressed in a long white shirt with leggings, that covered any reference to a pregnancy bump that she already had and added a bit of blush to her cheeks and lightly curled her hair. Being Pregnant really made her feel good about herself. She was determined to use that because she was sure that as soon as she got bigger then she wouldn't want to leave the house. Also once she had a baby to look after 24/7, she may as well take advantage of that glow her skin bought her while she could. As she was about to step out of the door she got the weirdest craving for some of Ryan's grilled cheese sandwiches.

"Crap", her cravings were hell, and she knew that nobody made a grilled cheese sandwich quite like Ryan did.

She knew that once she got a craving she would have to eat it. No matter what. She had had quite bad cravings in the four months that she was pregnant. She tried to ignore them and made it down the stairs to the kitchen. When she was in there she saw Seth and Summer eating breakfast together. She smiled as they playfully fought and fed each other bits of their bagels. Marissa bounced into the kitchen quite happily, she was usually upset in the mornings because she thought that she was fat or something - she was getting bigger, but because nobody knew it wasn't that hard to tell, and she was always wearing smock tops and dresses and lots of baggy jumpers to disguise her baby bump. She knew that she had to tell them, Summer would be the first person that she would tell, maybe she would tell Seth - maybe he would be able to keep this secret, but if he let it out then there would be trouble. Maybe she would just tell Summer to start.

"Hey Guys" Marissa went straight to the fridge to see if she could find something to replace her cravings. No such luck. Summer had noticed that she had looked a little different recently. She had put on a bit of weight, had a weird glow to her skin and been crying a lot. She knew at first that she had taken the break up pretty bad, and it was worse when she found out about Sadie, the only thing that Summer could think of was that Marissa was on drugs or heavily depressed. But she hadn"t realised the real reason yet

"Seth do you know how to make those grilled cheese sandwiches that Ryan makes, I am really in the mood for one" Marisa tried act like it was perfectly normal but Summer was on to it.

"Erm Seth, didn't you say that you had to go erm, Go to the comic book store this morning." Summer raised her eyebrows. Seth took the hint and nodded,

"O Yeh, he quickly downed his coffee and kissed Summer's cheek,

"I'l see you Sum, love you, Bye Marissa, and I will ask him about the grilled cheese sandwich, and get back to you" Summer smiled as Seth left to the two step sisters alone in the house.

Summer was definitely going to find whatever was wrong with Marissa, she realised how much the her break up had effected her. Seth had even been a bit off with Ryan, none of them liked Sadie, she was changing him into someone else. Not the normal nice guy he usually is. Summer thought that she could read Marissa like a book, thought being her oldest friend would give her some sort of power to automatically know what is wrong with her.

"Coop, I'm your best friend and your sister now ok Hun, and I no that something is wrong, Is it Ryan, do you miss him? Are you sick Worried about college? Depressed? Tell me your not drinking again please? What is it, Coop, I'm really worried about you." Summer looked very nervous over Marissa, she looked really worried over her sister. Marissa swallowed thickly knowing that this was the time that she had to tell Summer.

"Look Sum, This come as a shock to me as well." Tears began to come from Marissa's eyes,

"I meant to tell you sooner" Summer nodded to her as if instructing her to go on,

"I'm pregnant" Marissa broke down and Summer rushed straight over to her and took her into a big hug,

"Oh my god sweetie." Marissa cried onto Summer's shoulder. She lifted her head up and wiped he last of her tears, "But I'm fine about it, so its-"

"Coop how far are you gone" Marissa gulped,

"3 and a half months" Summer's eyes widened, and she looked at her stomach, Marisa smiled and pulled back her dress so it was tight against her stomach and you could tell, Marissa Cooper had a baby bump. Both of the girls smiled, Summer was worried for her but still really happy.

"Oh my god" Marissa nodded and put it back in its place,

"Look I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. I was just so scared. And I didn't know what to do" Summer shook her head,

"Don't worry you told me now, that's the most important thing, do you know what it is?" Marissa smiled at he best friend as she wipe some stale tears from the sides of her eyes,

"No, I haven't found it out yet,"Marissa had noticed how she hadn't asked who the father is, she was grateful for that, Marissa knew that she could already tell who the Dad was.

"it's a girl - I'm pshycic at these things, Oh my god what are you going to call her?" Summer asked excitedly.

"Um I don't know yet but if you don't mind I need to get to an appointment now Sum, so later we will talk about this, My Mum and your Dad don't come back from their cruise for another 3 weeks, so we can talk about this as much as you want. Tonight if you like" Summer smiled as Marissa realised she had to go and began to walk to the door,

" Do you need me to come with you? But tonight we can have a girls night and read baby magazines or something" Marissa nodded and hugged Summer goodbye. Once she was in the car, she took a deep breath, the first person that she told wasn't bad at all. She was sort of more excited at the prospect of having a baby now.

The appointment was on the clinic on the pier, Marissa had her black Chanel sunglasses on and her hair was blowing in the wind. She parked her car and got out of the car. She found the doctors easily and went in. Now nerves had overcome her whole body, she was worried If something was wrong with the baby or if they couldn't find a heart beat. Marissa sat worried in the waiting room, all around there were couples together, making Marissa feel even more uncomfortable, She started to fantasize what it would be like if she was in the pregnancy with the man that she loved. Marissa began picking at her nails. The time was going by so slowly, it felt as if she had been in their hours, not five minutes,

"Marissa Cooper" an elder lady with a clipboard called out of Marissa's name and she jumped out of her daze, she stood up from her uncomfortable plastic chair and walked over to where her doctor instructed. Once she was in the room, she sat down on the bed and the doctor wheeled over a machine to do a sonogram of the baby. Marissa winced as she felt the cold gel hit her stomach,

"So how are we feeling Marissa?"

"I've been getting the usual, you know, nausea, weird cravings, mood swings and things, but other than that are in ok?"

"How about the father, is he helping like he should?" The nurse was middle aged and had a genuine care in Marissa, she reminded her of what Kirsten would be like when she is that age,

"He erm.doesn't know yet. He is with his new girlfriend at the moment" Marissa smiled through some tears and looked at the sonogram screen,

"Well, its ok dear, and If you can see there, That Miss Cooper is your Baby."

Marissa turned to the screen and saw the picture of her child, she immediately started crying, tears of joy. The first time she had seen a complete outline of the baby, it made everything seem so much more real now. Lots of thoughts were running through her mind but the main one was that she and Ryan had a healthy baby,

"Miss Cooper, would you like a DVD of your scan so you can take it home and watch it?" Marissa nodded,

"O, okay thanks " Her eyes still transfixed on the screen.

"We want you to come back maybe tomorrow so you can meet your doctor that you will gave for the next 6 months, they will then deliver the baby and be there for the post natal queries and drop ins at the hospital, its just a formality so you can be comfortable with your nurse is that ok?"

Marissa agreed and then booked her appointment for 12:30 the next day, after she bought the DVD and pictures of her baby she was sitting in a booth at the dinner. She couldn't wipe the smile off of her face. She got her phone out and texted Summer picture of the scan with the caption, 'Hey auntie Sum' seeing as Summer had insisted that she let her know how it went. She had eaten all of her pancakes and was just sitting alone. Marissa did not notice that Ryan and Sadie came hand in hand through the diner - or even got the booth right next to hers. But luckily neither did Ryan or Sadie. They both had their backs to Marissa's.

Sadie had her hands intertwined with Ryan's. Every now and again he would kiss the side of her head. She knew that she loved him, and she also knew that he would never love her as much as he loved Marissa. She would find the odd picture of the two of them still around. But all she had to do was get through the summer and then he would go to UCLA and she would make her jewellery and then they could move into their west Hollywood apartment like they had planned.

"Baby what are you going to order?" Sadie whispered in Ryan's ear.

"Erm cheeseburger and chilli fries, I haven't had them in about a week, and I think I'm getting withdrawal symptoms" Sadie didn't understand Ryan's joke. Ryan knew the significance of it, it was kind of a private joke - maybe more between him and Marissa.

They sat in sort of an awkward silence for a while - only for it to be broken by the ringing of Forever young. It was cheesy, but it was one of Ryan's favourite songs, but what was even sadder is the fact that it was his and Marissa's song.

Marissa frantically dug around in her handbag so she could answer her phone. When she looked at it, it hadn't even rung,

Strange she thought, she thought she was the only one with that ring tone. She wasn't the only one looking for her phone however. Ryan was doing exactly the same as well.

"God Ryan, what is with that stupid ring tone" Sadie asked his as he answered it.

"What do you want Seth?" he asked tiredly into the phone, there was no doubt that he and Seth were drifting, they were still best friends and brothers

"Erm, Ryan, how do you make grilled cheese sandwiches, Marisa asked me earlier and I'm just about to go back to Summer's and if she's there I will tell her. Hang on I have an idea, you could tell her yourself, You have to come in your car to pick me up because me and Summer have had wine and mom has the other car - so later on tonight or earlier if you like is good, I mean we havent all hung out since 3 months ago and we all miss you so I will tell her that you are expecting her in like two hours see ya bye!"Seth put down the phone and smile quite contentedly

"Phase 1 complete!" Seth had already come up with the 'Get the core four back' plan now all he needed was for Ryan to put it in place.

Meanwhile at the diner, Marissa finally realised that she had company. She tried to get out of there as quickly as possible, maybe without getting notice. No such luck. She stood up and realised that her only exit was past Ryan and Sadie. She stood up and picked up her Marc Jacobs tote bag and threw it over her shoulder. Completely forgetting the fact that she had left her picture on the table, She had her big glasses covering her eyes, as she felt her heart fasten. She had made it to the door unnoticed by the couple when she remembered her picture. She quickly walked back to the table and placed it in her bag,

As she walked past a second time Sadie noticed her, and decided that she could use it to her advantage, she quickly laughed as loud as she could, and said directly so Marissa could hear,

"God Ryan, not now, at least wait until we get back to the pool house, I love you too baby" Sadie had a proud look on his face but Ryan was quite confused, he didn't even notice what she was going on about. As Marissa got outside and tears fell from her eyes she looked back inside the diner towards Sadie and Ryan, Sadie had her arms draped over Ryan and she was kissing the side of his head, but also found time in all of this to flash Marissa an evil grin her way. Marissa shook her head as she made her way to the car. It wasn't the fact that Ryan was with Sadie that made Marissa upset, it was the fact that she chose to rub it in her face.

On the way back she has started to get a few stomach aches, once she got home she sat and took deep breaths for a while, and then she felt it. Her eyes sprung open, as she felt the flutter in her stomach. She lent her head against the steering wheel and placed her hand on her stomach,

"Oh my god" Underneath her hand she felt a flutter, for the first time she felt the baby kick.  
She didn't know what emotion she felt, but she knew that now she could feel the baby, Ryan should find out. She was so excited she quickly got out of the car, and walked as fast as she could up the stairs, the baby was kicking so much en route back to the house. A huge smile could not be wiped from Marissa's face.

"Sum, Summer quick the baby is kicking Summer!!!" Marissa's happy voice shouted through the whole house, and soon Summer came running down the stairs from her bedroom

"OOOOOHHHH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Summer rushed straight over to her best friend, and placed her hands on her stomach. Her mouth formed and 'o' as she felt the baby underneath her hand also.

After the baby stopped, Marissa realised that Summer's top was a on back to front, her hair was all messed up and her lipstick was smudges around her face. And that moment was when Marissa noticed Seth at the top of the stairs,

"Summer why didn't you tell me?" Marissa urged as she took her best friends hands away from her noticeably pregnant stomach.

"Well, Congrats Marissa" Seth said as he walked down the stairs

"Thanks Seth" They awkwardly hugged, Marissa was crying again after,

"I'm sorry, its just my hormones"

"Well what is it? Do you want me to start getting a Seth Cohen Starter pack together: Newborn edition?"

Marissa laughed as Summer batted his chest.

"Only you Cohen"

Later all three of them made their way into the lounge area,

"Guys I have a DVD of the sonogram and what the baby was doing, do you want to see it?" Summer nodded eagerly and Seth was just there, he figured that Ryan didn't know and he wouldn't tell him, It was Marissa's choice about when he would find out.

"I'm just going to get changed into something more comfortable and then we can all sit down here. Maybe watch a chick flick - I know they are you favourites Seth" Marissa joked as she walked away.

She was up in her room and she changed into a pair of Juicy Sweats and a top that really showed her pregnancy bump. She couldn't believe that a 2nd person knew, word was starting to come out. She felt very proud and as she looked in the mirror she was beginning to fantasize what she would be like as a mother; maybe a doting mother like Kirsten, that dressed their baby girl in pink and boys in blue.

"Coop, get your ass down here were waiting" Summer sung from downstairs

"Coming Sum!! I'm pregnant, I walk slower!!!" Marissa's said as she was taking her time purposefully down the stairs.

When she got back downstairs, Seth had fell asleep on Summer's shoulder and Summer was waiting for Marissa,

"Coop, you look great!" Her hair was all tied back and she didn't have any make up on

"I don't seriously I mean I'm fat and my ass is huge, im stressed out and why is your boyfriend asleep?" Marissa asked sceptically,

" He's just um tired, we were doing- a work out video when you got home, Now lets see what my future niece or nephew has been up to recently"

"Nice save Sum," Marissa said as the two step sisters laughed.

Minutes later the same picture as earlier filled the screen and the heart beat was strong and clear. Both Marissa and Summer were crying lightly and Marissa's hands were tightly wrapped around her middle.

"O Coop, I bought you some baby magazines and books, there on the table in the front, I would go and get them but" she pointed to Seth.

Marissa nodded and got up of off the sofa. Now that people new about the pregnancy she felt more comfortable. Now she felt that she could wear a top that showed her bump, or not look perfect all the time, she couldn't believe that in the space of a day she was this comfortable about being open about the pregnancy. As she was walking back to the den she heard the door bell. She could make out the figure of a man on the other side of the glass door.

"Sum the pizza guy is here"

Marissa opened the door and to her dismay it wasn't the delivery guy from Dominos on the other side, it was Ryan, her Ryan.

Dun Dun Dun dun!ok as you may of realised this is my first fan fiction! I really enjoy writing it and I hope you enjoy reading. Dont feel pressured to review, i like to write so this is my outlet! Thanks a lot - If you want take a guess at what is going to happen next xoxo


	3. Chapter 3

Authors note

_So just a little note to say - thanks for all the amazing reviews! I know it isnt much but the only thing i thought people would say to me would be how bad it is! _

_I hope pregnancy time wise things are ok, my goddaughter started to kick at 3 and a half motnhs so i know thats a bit early but it can happen._

_And Ryan and Sadie, In this story I said that Ryan cheated on Marissa - only because I think he really did in the 'Road Warrior' anyway - that episode was a little bit to suspicious for my liking :) I think we have all gathered that i have made this Sadie evil in this one - becasue if there was no Sadie there would be no Volchuck and Marissa and then no death - which in a perfect world should of been the ending! and instead of Berkeley being the school for Ryan and Marissa i have chosen UCLA mainly because of my plans for the rest of the story. So her it is - I hope you enjoy xoxo_

Marissa opened the door and to her dismay it wasn't the delivery guy from Dominos on the other side, it was Ryan, her Ryan.

"What are you doing here?" she asked shocked, her eyes were wide and all the colour and happiness was washed from her face.

"I've come to get Seth, Kirsten said he was over here" Marissa's eyes opened wider as she tried to shelter herself behind the door, hoping that Ryan wouldn't notice.

"Erm Marissa, I know since erm..we erm.."

"When you broke up with me, you can say it you know Ryan" Marissa glared at him from over the threshold, this wasn't a time for angry pregnancy hormones to be rushing through her.

"Yeh that, we haven't really spoken or anything, and I...well.. I want to say sorry"

"Sorry, is that is - what are you sorry for Ryan the fact that you went away with Sadie and probably had sex or that you have ignored me in the last month of our relationship - if you could even call it that?" Her words were icy and that caused Ryan's heart to weep, he had caused pain to the person he loved most in all the world.

"I'm sorry for everything, just to let you know. I really did L---" Ryan lowered his eyes to the ground, and when doing so he noticed Marissa's stomach, his mind was racing and lots of thoughts, he couldn't understand

"Marissa, erm..."

"What Ryan?" She asked him exasperateldly, she hadn't noticed him looking at her stomach,

"Are you, no you can't be erm... erm.Oh my god you are" he couldn't take his eyes away. Marissa noticed him staring at her ever growing stomach, it was now or never, moments of silence had passed between the two, the tension was so thick that you couldn't cut it with a knife.

"Yes!" she cried helplessly, her voice was small and racked with nervous. At first Ryan felt happy for her, then he thought that he wouldn't be with Marissa, she would be with the father, and it wasn't himself all small hope of them ever getting back together now it was officially over. That was when jealousy and rage took over him.

"Well I hope that you and Volchuck are very happy, tell Summer to give Seth a ride home!" he spat angrily. Marissa had rarely seen Ryan like this, but she had before, it was shortly after the thing with Trey, when they were at the hospital, he was still so raged about what Trey did he shouted and screamed at anyone - now it was her that he was taking his rage on. She scoffed to herself as Ryan began walking back down along the steps of the house.

"Is that what you think? After the years that we have been together, after everything that we have been through, you think that little of me you think that I am some whore who would sleep with some random who I didn't know? Come on Ryan, you know me so much better than that", she had followed him down the steps, leading from the Roberts mansion angered that he wouldn't believe her.

"Well it is isn't it, you and Volchek were drinking buddies, doing god knows what, but hey at least when the baby grows up their mom and dad has a good coke connection!!" He was screaming at her, and she was screaming at him, they were now the Ryan and Marissa that didnt dodge their feelings or thoughts. He didnt even know what was wrong with him. Back when he and Marissa were happy, he started saving for an engagement ring or for they first huose, well basically their future, he already had about a grand saved. She was always the person that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with - even though they were so young that thought didn't scare him, because he knew she felt the same way, that was until Sadie come along and Johnny died, that was then he lost her. But now that dream was in the crapper, well only because she was pregnant with someone else's baby and he was with Sadie.

Marissa was taken aback by his harsh toned, she had a protective hand on her stomach, her mood swings were worse enough without Ryan provoking her. She began walking closer to him and staring deep into his blue eyes, She slapped him hard around the face, leaving a red mark on his cheek. She looked him cold in the eye, she used to see love and a future, now all she sees is upset and disappointment, and embarrassment for him thinking she was some slut.

"What and your just so perfect aren't you? Cheating on me with Sadie and then keeping her here to rub in my face, I'll bet that she's going to UCLA in the fall too huh?" She asked sarcastically, knowing full well that Ryan would never commit himself to someone who he barely knew, it took him long enough to actually ask her if they wanted to apply to the same ones, and even then there was no guarantee that there were going to get the same. Ryan averted his gaze to the floor and tears sprung from Marissa's eyes,

"She's, she's going to our college?" She swallowed a thick lump and blined a couple of times trying to process what he ahd said, he obviously felt more for Sadie then he ever did for her.

_"Oh my god, he is completely in love with another girl and I am having his baby, that he doesnt even know about yet" _

Silent tears rolled down her face and Ryan noticed her sudden mood change, He reached out to touch her arm, slightly taken aback when he felt electricity run through his veins.

"Don't touch me!" she screamed as she whipped her arm away

"Well you have Volchuck now so I don't know what your worried about" Marissa laughed and shook her head,

"We weren't even dating! A date for us would be sitting in quiet at the lifeguard stand - that's it!!! We didn't even kiss, God Ryan you are such an idiot!!!!! I think he may even be in Mexico!!" Ryan couldn't believe what he was hearing, Marissa was defending herself, she would always give in, and then say how sorry she was, and promise not to do it again, but it looks like she has changed, matured, become the women she was always going to be, but then Ryan realised that she is a lot stronger than what she used to be.

"But you know you must be really happy with your perfect hippy girlfriend nothing at all like me - I mean I have never even seen the girl with clean hair! I bet that is excalty what you needed asnt some fresh faced slut nothing at all like the anorexic alcholic exgirlfriend! Don't pretend thats not what you think as me as! Summer has told me what she says about Ryan!!!! Summer maybe Seth's girlfriend but she is my best friend and Sister first!!!!!!!! I bet you both had a good laugh and my expense!! and lets not forget about that perfect little internship at the Newport Group, so you can buy all Sadie everything she wants! While you out - why don't you buy her something that doesn't smell like wet dog! What am I even doing? This is none of my business, you know what Ryan just back off and leave me alone, I don't need you anymore" after she finsihed screaming her speech, tears racked her voice and her chest heaved with emotion,

"Come on Marissa don't be like this, we have been friends too long," he tried to reason with her. He never liked to make her feel upset;

"FRIENDS? IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK WE ARE NOW RYAN??? We were never just friends Ryan, that between us doesn't work, so Just go back to Sadie and stop screaming at me!! I am not your property and anymore Ryan, you lost that right when you dumped me over the phone!!!!" She stood up and rushed back up the stairs, Ryan knew that she was right, he wasn't the same person he used to be. She had reached the door when he called up to her.

"Marissa, I'm sorry!" He cried up, he knew that what he did couldn't be undone, he never thought that he would be like his father, cheating on the one person that he loved, Marissa got to the door, and looked down on him, the shadow of the boy that she loved.

"For what Ryan, leaving me or getting me pregnant?" she slowly turned around as her news sunk in. She slammed the door and once she was safely inside she slid down the door crying. Her hand never left her stomach, rubbing smooth circles on her baby belly, she never thought that she would have Ryan at all for the pregnancy but she never thought that she would feel so alone.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks for all the amazing responses again! And thanks for the constructive comments! I know the last one was a bit Ryan bashing, but that was only because everyone seemed to hate season 3 Marissa. I have taken comments and tried to make this one a little fairer on him!_

_I don't own the OC - because if I did it wouldnt of stopped airing! and Let me know on anything you would like to see happen and I might make it happen:) thanks xoxo_

She slid down the door and cried out all the tars that she ahd kept in since her and Ryan broke up. She was pleased that she finally said what she needed to get off her chest, but she didnt want the harsh reality of Ryan talking back to her. There was some hope in the back of her mind, that when she had the baby, her and Ryan would get back together and then they could raise their child together, she didnt know how wrong she was. She was angry at herself for ever hoping that her and Ryan would ever get back together, angry at herslef for her baby's aske, knowing full well that he wouldn't want much to do with her and a child once he was partying in college every weekend, and she was angry at Ryan mainly because she couldn't ever stop loving him. Summer and Seth had both been watching from the door, it was a bit hard not to eaves drop when even the people of Tijuana could hear their argument. They didnt know wether they should try and help and intervene or let them talk or more like scream it out.

Once Summer saw they state that she was in she went straight over to her childhood best friend and took her into a hug.

"Aww Coop, come here" Summer outstretched her arms and her best friend curled up in a ball in them, and cried chest raking sobs.

"It will all be ok sweetie I promise, me and Seth are here for you, yeah? Just becasue he isn't doesnt mean that we will ever abounden you, You need to be strong for the baby's sake" Summer rubbed her arms up and down her back trying to stop her chest racking sobs and Marissa was trying to speak, btu the tears proved it too difficult.

"I still love him Summer! And I'm having his baby" Marissa cried into her shoulder,Summer looked over at Seth, but he just shrugged his shoulder, the only person he kew who could help was his Mom and right now that would be like rubbing salt into the wound.

"I know but it will get easier, I know you Coop you are so strong" The two step sisters just sat by the door for a while, Summer trying to console Marissa.

"What do I do now Summer?" Summer shook her head,

"I don't know sweetie, I don't know" she cried on Summer's shoulder for a little while longer, Summer knowig she would rather be with her brokedown instead of Mairssa being by herself, last time that happenned they put the mexican public services to the test.

"Summer, I don't know if I can do it?" She quietly sobbed, words being interrupted by her tears.

"Do what Coop?" She pulled her arms away from her and looked at her sad best friend,

"I don't know if I can, . ...be a mom..maybe I shouldn't be a mom!"Summer looked shocked, Marissa was always one of those people who would have a baby whatever the reason, she would never kill her baby. Summer knew this because the summer that Ryan came, Holly had an abortion and it was Marissa who was trying to talk her out of it. It only dawned on her after TJ that it could well of been Luke's, could well of been, we all know what kind of girl Holly Fishcer was.

"Maybe I should give it up for adoption, let someone else raise them, give it the life that I won't be able to, I don't know if I can do this anymore" she broke down in fresh new tears after. She wanted more than anything in the world to raise the baby she was pregnant with, and to be there no matter what it didn't bother her that she would be a single mom and have to do it alone, because in her eyes it was all worth it.

"It's really your choice Coop, maybe you should talk to Ryan about this?" Summer knew how she felt, but now that Ryan knew about his child he did have a right, as unfair to Marissa as that was.

"Why the hell would I do that!!!!!!!!!!! He has nothing to do with my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate him so much, if I died tomorrow I wouldn't want him to come to my funeral! He cheated on me Sum! After all that time when he accused me he actually did!!!! I can't stand to even look at him! He will not have anything to do with my baby!!!!!!!!" She stood up and ran towards her room, Summer didn't know what to do, these were the times that they both needed real moms like Kirsten , so she could be there for Marissa, and no what to do in said emergencies

Seth came out from behind the door and just stood with his hands in his pockets. Summer ran over to him and wrapped her arms around his slim frame,

"Oh my god Summer" he was speechless, one of his best friends was pregnant with his brother and other best friends baby, she hates him and is thinking of giving his future niece or nephew up for adoption. Things were beyond bad, this was complicated even for Ryan and Marissa.

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A few hours later, Ryan was sitting alone in the pool house brooding , Every time he tried to comprehend this he couldn't ,he couldn't get his head round it. Its not 'how did it happen' question because that was pretty obvious, it was more of a 'how could I have let her go' question. He heard Seth come home a while ago. They caught each others glances across the garden to through the kitchen, Seth just shook his head and walked the other way. He had gotten texts from Sadie asking if he wanted to do something that night, But he couldn't not while he was thinking of Marissa and their unborn child. When Theresa had told him she was pregnant and it may not have even been his baby, sure he panicked but as he told Sandy, he had expected something to go wrong. But now, he graduated on honour roll, had a girlfriend, was going to college and even did work at the Newport group. Now his whole world had changed.

He was going to become a father whether or not he liked it. He thought of Marissa and how much she probably hated him right now. Once he thought on past all of the negative thoughts, he became excited. He was having a baby, with Marissa. His child would grow up with a mom and a dad that loved them so much. He knew Marissa would make an amazing Mother, but he definitely doubted if he would be any good as a father. It was a case of leading by example, so it would come down to Frank or Sandy and he prayed to god it would be the latter.

On the other side of the pool house doors, Summer was contemplating whether to go in, Ryan could see her shadow on the floor of his room, he knew why she was here.

"What do you want Summer? I'm busy!" he rolled over and put his head face down in the pillow trying to fade out the sound her voice

Summer let herself into the pool house anyway, standing over by the door, Ryan turned over and faced his best friend

"What do you want?" Ryan ask gruffly, he was in a bad mood, he thought that had they had all betrayed him, the fact that they knew and he didn't tell him.

"Look if you want to blame me for all of this then can you come back another time, I am trying to get my head around the fact that she has known for god knows how long, and didn't tell me," Ryan just completly ignored Summer, and sighed whilst rubbing his face.

"It wasn't my fault you know, well it was and I do regret it but you have to remember here that she was the one that gave up on us Summer, you said to me the night of the lock in that you were worried about her and Johnny getting to close"

"I know and I shouldn't of worried you"

"No you didnt worried me, you made me realise, that she attracts attention and drama everywhere she goes. I completley lost her after Johnny died, it got to the point where she was blmaing me for his death"

"Ryan she doesn't think you pushed him , she never even accused you of that" Summer was still talking to him through the dark, all she could see was the back of his face, as he turned the opposite direction to her.

"On Valentines, she told me I was glad he was dead, that wasn't true, but I thought after, it would be me and Marissa maybe back to normal, back in Harbour and getting ready for college, but she walked away too! If she wanted to make it work she would of fought, and god, even when she found out she was pregnant, she could no she should of told me! How do you think it I feel to know that my own brother knew before I did or that she was the one that was drifting and she knew this life chaning thing but still didn't tell me? Summer you have no clue what I'm going through at the moment - so just please, just go" He pleaded with her once more, desperatley wanting to brood alone in this miserable moment of his.

"She's hurting you know Atwood" Summer knew exactly what to say to Ryan, he knew that he had a saviour complex and he knew Marissa Cooper was the one to trigger it off. She knew that he was listening, not needing any response she carried on.

"I have only just found out by the way, if that was the reason for you having that 'I'm going to kill Summer look' in your eyes, I found out about the whole thing this morning, but the first time I realised she was happy with it was an hour maybe 2 before you did. Marissa came in, she was crying but it was because the baby was kicking for the first time, By the look on her face she was pretty stoked."She sat down on the wicker chair near the door.

"This isn't the time Summer I have a lot to think about right now,"

"Oh sorry I forgot, that you were the one with all the issues," she laughed sardonically,

"What could you possibly have to think about Chino, its not like you don't know how this happened, because lets face it, this isn't the first girl you have impregnated, you must be worrying about all the stretch marks, sleepless nights and morning sickness that you are going to get throughout the whole thing." She shook her head, if the mind tricks didn't work on Ryan, then her and Seth were out of ideas,

"Or it might be the labour, or teething troubles, or when you baby will come home from school asking where their daddy is, because let me tell you Ryan, you may think that you have it bad, but that is just a fraction of what Marissa is going through, right now she is sitting up in her bedroom, that she locked by the way, so god knows what she is doing to herself or her child, crying her eyes out because she is so scared," Summer took some more deep breaths before carrying on with her speech.

"I bet she is sitting with the sonogram picture that she got today, just wondering what to do, and for some unknown reason she is sitting there, wondering if you will ever forgive her. Just as long as you are considering all the other people that you are hurting, when you come round to my house next time shouting at her, because after everything that you have put her through, I would never of put my money on the fact that you would be sitting in the pool house instead of trying to help her. Your Ryan and she's Marissa, you are both stubborn, and really suck at communicating but after everything you have never stopped caring about one another, you both no how much you love eachother - so why are you fighting it?" She could see all of the thoughts going around Ryan's head. She had done reverse psychology, now it was time for the true Newport Bitch to come out and fortunately for Summer, she had perfected the art a long time before Seth Cohen was even on her radar.

"oh and next time call ahead before you come, I really wasn't prepared for all the tears after you left. Bye Ryan" Summer finished her speech, proud of herself that she knew she made an impact on him. You could see that he was trying hard to sort everything out in his mind.

As she made it out of the pool house she bumped into Sadie.

_'Great, all I need is for this hoe - to go and wreck everything I have just spoke about'_ she silently thought whilst giving her a gamma ray of hate- another thing she had perfected pre-Seth.

"Get out of my way skank"she shouted as she shoved Sadie. She turned round to Ryan's laying form in the pool house and shouted

"that's right Ryan, your not the same person anymore, I heard you dance" she sneered at Sadie after bumping her a little bit more and walked straight back into the Cohen house.

"God what is your problem Whore?" Sadie asked trying to come off not intimidated by Summer

"O honey I am not the whore in this equation- I don't jump randoms with girlfriends in sleazy motels and I would never wear jeans that were that low cut coz sweetie your ass wasn't made for them, then again I don't think you were made for them period. I know you are like really cheap but if you even gave a flying rats ass about your appearance then when you looked in the mirror you would of noticed the muffin top" Summer said in her bitchy way as she walked back to the kitchen proudly. Seth was waiting for her, he high fived her first because Sadie was still staring at her open mouthed, glued to the spot she was in.

"How did that go Sum? I mean not the Sadie part but my idiot brother part?" He asked as he took her into his arms once again, he was good at comforting her now.

"I have to get back to Coop, I told her that I was popping to the store and I still have to get her some pickles for a craving, although she has probably moved onto something else by now." Summer grabbed her bag and kissed Seth goodbye

"Bye Cohen, Love you" he watched Summer drive her Lexus from the drive and he could hear Sadie walking back through the kitchen, She walked straight past him and stopped round. You could tell that this girl was angry at Ryan,

"Can you tell your idiot brother that when he is done with ignoring me that he should call me and bring me flowers! Bye!" She slammed the door and Seth stood there laughing, if Ryan ever bought Sadie flowers then he must be whipped even more so than when he was with Marissa.

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"Coop, I'm home" she shouted through the dark mansion,

"On the way back from the store, My dad called, looks like the newlyweds want to check out Barcelona, they are going to be away for another few weeks, Mima gets home from visiting her sister in San Diego this weekend, so she will be back at the house with us" Summer had been talking to Marissa through her bedroom door.

"Coop can I come in sweetie?" Summer knocked on the door and entered the dark bedroom, she could make out Marissa's sleeping body on the bed and went over to pull the comforter over her. You could see her tearstain cheeks even in the dark. Her chest was rising up and down monotonously in her sleep.

Summer smiled at her peaceful best friend, she noticed on the floor tissues and a baby magazine. She left her alone and wondered into her own bedroom, to go to bed, it had been a long day for everyone.

Hope you enjoy this one! Should update again soonish! xoxo


	5. Chapter 5

_Hi! I know this chapter is coming quite quickly but it was all wirtten and I can't post in the next fee days, I'm in a show that is showcasing this week so things are going to get hetic! The next chapter - all is not what it seems I should warn! As and avid Ryan and Marissa fan, it is going to take a lot of work and story ideas:) to get them back to the way they are!_

"I will meet you at the life guard stand in half an hour" Marissa drudgingly got out of her double bed and winced as the cold air hit her body. It may have been Summer outside but the Robert Mansion had an air conditioning that would freeze over the hottest beaches. Her hands subconsciously made their way to her stomach and she smiled every time she felt her bump. But then she remembered that she had to be somewhere and fast. She got dressed in her Dad's USC jumper and some sweats, something that her mom would always call her hangover outfit. Ironic she thought. She checked on Summer, it was 2 in the morning do she didn't think that she should be waking up any time soon. She put on some flip flops and silently crept out of the still house. She jogged down the stairs to her car and powered up the engine to the car and drove to the beach. Newport was solemnly quiet , calm and eery, it was the calm before the storm and she knew what her storm was going to be.She parked her car at the beach a short time later , walked the dimly lighted walk to her life guard stand. It was strange, she had so many memories there, where Ryan got realised out of Police custody or where she rung him in the nights when he was in Chino or when Jimmy left. It was weird how she felt like it was a secure place to be, even though so many dramatic things happened there.

She edged closer to the wooden ramp and put a hair that was blowing in the wind behind her ear. Replacing one of them back on her stomach the other one leaning against the ramp.

"Why did you want to meet?" She cast her gaze out to sea and saw the unruly waves bashing against the rocks. It was funny, but the ocean always seemed to make her feel relaxed.

"Because I haven't really been sleeping lately and I have a killer back ache" Marissa complained back, after not really elicting a response from the other person.

"I'm sorry for waking you, but I just wanted to talk. I couldn't sleep and didn't want to leave it until the morning."

"Well this time at night isn't much better, you know what, why don't you save it, because right now I don't care, about what you have to say right now and I am quite scared at what you are going to tell me to do Ryan, I just need to be alone, I'm going to get a strawberry milkshake, and maybe some fries" she turned around, still not looking at that dark shadow in the eye. It was cold and empty, so much has changed in so little time, but there was no denying the feelings that she did have, has now and would always have. He was her Ryan and she couldn't just stop loving him.

"Riss, please don't walk away" he ran down the ramp and after her through the sand . She felt tears gather in her eyes, earlier wasn't the conversation she wanted to have, and now it was awkward, even more awkward than it was before.

"What Ryan, what do you want me to say? She asked with tears in her eyes,

"How about the fact that you couldn't tell me Marissa, that you were going to hide this really huge thing from me, where you going to hope that I wouldn't notice that you were pregnant or get an abortion or something??" Ryan was chasing after her down the beach as she walked as fast as she could.

"Why would I do that Ryan! Just because you don't want this baby doesn't mean that I don't - this is my decision as well!" She tried to walk faster against the uneven sand carrying her flip flops in her hands.

"Marissa please, I don't want another screaming match again, too much has happened. Between us, I just want to talk"

Marissa laughed to herself, Ryan never wanted to talk, she could feel the baby moving around and realised if she left now anyway, she wouldn't be able to sleep whatever happened,

"Ok fine, if you insist, but your buying me fries and if this ends badly, remeber that it wasn't me who made you talk." she said stubbornly, Ryan caught up with her and he noticed her hands on her stomach, and his whole body ached to be with her, comfort her, tell her that everything was going to be ok, but he couldn't cheat on Sadie, and Marissa would never take him back

"it's the least I can do, the diners still open" he ushered the both of them to the pier so they could go to their usual cafe.

"Typical that the only 24 hour restuarant is the best huh?" Ryan tried to get some sort of response from Marissa but all he got was a nod.

Marissa sat down uncomfortably at the booth, feeling awkward with Ryan there, the waitress came over and as she was about to order, Ryan interrupted,

"I will have 2 coffees, no actually one coffee," he looked at Marissa before starting again, "You know you can't have coffee right?" Marissa just kept on staring at her menu whilst the waitress gave them strange looks.

"and you wanted some fries, and a strawberry milkshake, o do you want one of those Banana split things you like?" he handed back the menus as Marissa looked at him strange,

"Come on, you don't expect me to not know what you want, we used to come in here all the time and I figured if you have had a rough time, a banana split would cheer you right up - you used to love especially when you were nervous,and I can tell from the silent treatmetn that your nervous." he said smiling at her, trying to break the ice

"Operative word in that sentence, used to I haven't really seen much of you recently"

"Its because you didn't look, I'm sure you would have been able to find me if you wanted to Marissa, I don't know, say if you had really life-changingly important news you would of found be. But I don't want to argue with you please, we need to make it easier on the 3 of us"

Marissa smiled as she heard him refer to their baby as a person, it seemed like he accepted the fact that they were going to become parents.

"and I just think that it will be better for all of us if the time we have together isn't spent arguing, instead talking about this mess we got into." In his mind he wanted to talk about more important things, but at least Marissa was talking to him, he would take what he could get.

Marissa raised her eyebrows sceptically at him - it was only his mess if he wanted it to be, he was a minor factor in her giving birth.

"Riss the only reason I called it a mess, is because neither of us have no clue what we are going to do when the baby comes, we will both be in college and I'm positive that I don't know how to change a diaper." He smiled nervously at his former lover, he still couldn't get his mind over the fact that his baby was growing inside of her.

"And I think that we should tell the Cohen's soon, I know that your mom is away and you want to wait but straight after we need to tell the Cohen's, they will be able to sort out anything that we need, or what you need I mean." Marissa fiddled with her fingers on the table

"Actually my Mom knows," she said in her usual, proud of herslef for ticking off Julie Cooper Nichol Roberts voice

Ryan raised his eyebrows in confusion, surely if Julie Cooper knew she would be round at the Cohen's threatening to get him arrested or something

"When I took the test, I found out and started crying I was on my bed and she came in and saw the pregnancy test box and she assumed that the reason I was crying was because I didn't know who the father was, which was a stupid idea because its only ever been you, and well Luke" she didn't know why her and Ryan could just get on as normal, forgetting everything they had said earlier, acting civilised. When even though everything that they said earlier was so hurtful on both parts.

"She left me some money , for as she so kindly put it 'take care of it' and then left on her honeymoon, we aren't expecting them back anytime soon"

Ryan looked over at her. He felt sorry for her, Although the Atwood Family was rarely a happy one, All Julie Cooper-Nichol-Cooper-Roberts ever did was make her family unhappy. He then felt anger for someone wanting to kill his child, even though he has just found out about it.

"Typical Julie," he laughed sardonically, "What did you do with the money?"

"Marc Jacobs tote bag," she said whilst licking her strawberry milkshake off the spoon

"mmmmmmmmmmmm!!! That is exactly what you have been craving isn't it" Marissa said to her stomach, then flushing with embarrassment when she realised she wasn't alone in the diner, like she usually is nowadays .

"What I'm practically a Mom, I am entitled to do embarrasing things" she shrugged it off like it was completley normal.

"Don't you think that's what we should be talking about? How could you not tell me Marissa, was what we had the un-important to you? were you trying to get back at me? what was it, please I need to know."

"I couldn't tell you because you finally getting what you wanted, I overheard Seth and Summer saying how much happier you are with Sadie, that she was the anti-Marissa, and I wasn't going to be the one who ruined it - that girl hates me enough, her thinking that I was the reason Johnny fell off the cliff."

"So that was the whole reason?" he knew there was more to it, he knew her too well.

"No, if you didn't know then you could never reject us, ditch us for someone new, you never had anything to lose, whereas I need to be there for myself and for the baby, and I couldn't do that if I wasn't over you, so I tried, really, really hard to keep this my secret" she had tears rolling down her face, all of her walls she had put up over the last few months were slowly coming down brick by brick.

Ryan had that sickening feeling in his stomach, knowing that he could of been there but wasn't, that was too much to bear as well as a teary eyed Marissa.

"Well I respect your choice, but you know Marissa that I will be there, I always have and always will" Marissa smiled through some new tears, it all being to much for her. He reached out to touch her hand, but pulled back once he felt that similar bolt of electricity - he guessed it would never go away.

"Can I ask you a few questions about the baby? I mean if that is ok?"

"Ryan., I'm not sure if I comfortable with this - I mean what are you going to say? There is nothing that you can do to change my mind, I'm keeping it.?"

"Well if we were still together I would say we would move in together and get married even, so I could do the honourable thing but seeing as we are apart, I want to be there and help you, you aren't going to do this alone, I will be there whenever you need me, and if that means living together in LA or whatever, thats great, Sandy and Kirsten have bought me and Seth our first places to live while where there, and I would be lonely by myself I am going to be there for the baby and you, I promise" he looked into her eyes and straight to her soul and smiled sheepishly

"Look, I don't need you to do the honourable thing Ryan, ok" She shook her head as she stood, angry at herself for thinking that he would want to be with her.

She got up and left a 20 dollar bill on the table and began to walk out. He quickly left the rest of the money and began to chase after her. He began thinking about that Lindsay Lohan chick-flick that the girls made he and Seth one time, about how his words were like 'word-vomit' and how he wanted to take them back,

"Marissa wait, please I didn't mean it like that - I, look just listen to me! Marissa!" He grabbed her arm and as she turned around she broke down into tears. Her body collapsing against his like a dead weight. her whole body racking with sobs as she cried on Ryan's shoulder, he was rubbing her back and smoothing her hair, much like he did when she broke down in Chino after she run away from her Mom and Luke. The tears just kept coming, they were standing in the middle of the pier, not another person in sight. He knew he had to be strong and supportive for her, but it absouloutely killed him to see her cry like that. He moved the two of them to a bench and she was still at his side. Some of her tears had subsided and she was resting into him, neither of them had expected, but as Ryan had been present in her teas before he knew exactly what to do.

They sat in silence for a moment, both of them to scared to disturb the peace. Newport was as quiet as they were.

"Look I'm sorry, I should go I shouldnt of -"

"Let me take you home?" Ryan asked pleading her to let him be near, Marissa just nodded and stood up as he put his arm around her to pull her in to his side as he saw her shivering. When they got to the car she slid into the familiar Range Rover seat and put her hands on her stomach. You couldn't of cut the silence with a knife, and Ryan knew he had to make it right between the both of them, if not for himself and Marissa but for their baby.

"Have you been going to the doctors and stuff? Taking vitamins?" Ryan asked nervously, he knew how it felt to lose a baby, he didn't want to lose another one, and he didn't want to put Marissa through that. Marissa was slightly touched by his concern, but she sort of expected it. It was in his nature to care for those who were important to him.

"Yeh I have, I went this morning and I have another tomorrow" She kept staring straight ahead and try to block all of her feelings for Ryan out.

"So soon, is everything ok?"

"Yeh, its just for me to meet my doctor for the pregnancy, it will carry through to post natal and things like that"

A few more minutes of silence past and Marissa decided that she was going to put all feelings aside and was going to make an effort, not for herself or that she still loved him, but for her baby, their baby.

"You can come if you want?" It only needed one of them to bridge that distant gap between them, and they both knew it would take a lot of work.

Ryan's whole face lit up, Marissa just took in his every move, it had been a long time since she had seen Ryan act that happy in front of her, his smile used to light up her world, the most terrible things would be erased with his classic half smile. He never smiled in the whole Trey thing, but the moment that he did, Marissa knew they would be ok.

"I would love to, thanks. You know Marissa we will get through this together and it will be ok, I promise"

Marissa started to cry and Ryan reached out and put a hand on her knee

"Hey hey why are you crying?"

"I'm just so scared Ryan, about everything" she wept as Ryan held her close, she once again smelt her familiar scent and started to cry even more,

"I know your scared Riss, but, it will all be worth it in the end, you will have a baby to look after, and it will love you ok, and we will both love it so much I promise, I was scared earlier, but I overcome it, I thought about what is really important, I got over my issues and got excited about the baby, Marissa, we are having a baby"

She looked deep into his eyes and wanted to kiss him so bad.

"Thanks by the way I don't think that I've said that yet"

A glint of happiness was back in Ryan's eyes, one that he hadn't had forever, Once they had finished in the diner, Ryan followed Marissa home to make sure that she was ok and agreeing to pick her up 10 the next day to take her to her appointment, by the time that he got home, it was early morning. He needed a few extra hours sleep before he would get to see the first picture of his and Marissa's baby. That thought alone sent him into a happy sleep. But not before he found 9 missed calls from Sadie and 11 text messages, he knew there was something he had forgotten about.

_I'm not too sure on how I feel about this chapter, I have basically already written so much and saved it, so when I update I just want to change everything to make it good enough. Let me know what you think, I will be happy to include anybodies ideas! Thanks xoxo_


	6. Chapter 6

_I hope that eveyrone likes this chapter! I no sometimes the angst is a little depressig but i didnt want t make it to unrealistic? enjoy and let me know what you think? xoxo_

Marissa groaned as she heard a soft knocking on her bedroom door, she had gotten about 3 hours sleep, she was used to be ok with staying up late but now with everything, sleepless nights were really taking their toll.

"Hey Coop" Summer said quietly as she came in her room, she was wearing her pyjamas and her eyes mask was pushed back to her forehead and her brown hair piled into a high ponytail.

"Hey Sum", Marissa moved over and Summer sat on the edge of her bed. Marissa re-adjusted her headband and the girls sat in silence for a while.

"So do you want breakfast at all? Or do you want any weird craving food from the store? Because I will totally ring Cohen and he will go out and get them for you", both of them laughed lightly, and Marissa tried to stifle a yawn. But Summer noticed,

"I'm sorry for waking you Coop, but I just wanted to apologise" Marissa looked confused,

"Summer you haven't done anything wrong, why are you apologising?"

"I know that you told me not to be pissed off at Ryan, but I couldn't help myself with the rage blackouts and all, the anger just makes it harder, When I was taking Cohen home last night I, Well I went to the pool house last night and I basically verbally abused him, I broke my promise of not interfering, Well I barely interfered I just basically called him and ass and when I saw Sadie, I called her a whore or skank I don't remember? I hope your not mad?" Summer procrastinated aloud with a worried look on her face.

"No, I'm not mad, I promise, lets face it she got what was coming to her" she said yawning and shutting her eyes,

"My thoughts exactly! Ryan seemed a little bit occupied, you could say. Are you going to speak at all?"

"Actually he rang me last night trying to get me to meet up so we could talk, so we met on the beach, I got a tad upset, then he took me to the diner, we sort of have a plan, well we know what we are doing today at least,"

"Oh my god! You and Ryan actually spoke? About the baby and stuff? No verbal abuse?"

"Yes well know, things were awkward and I was going from emotion to emotion with the mood swings, but that sort of comes with the territory now, it's just I don't want him to feel that he has to do this, I mean I would love him to but you know he had commitment issues, and I don't want him to change his mind later on the line when it will have more of an effect."

"You two are getting back together?" Summer asked incredulously

"Well yeah, I mean no, were not together but were getting along, for the babys sake, I mean his with Sadie anyway" she said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"That doesn't mean you don't want to, I give it a week, you will realise how much you love eachother! You always do!"

"What do you mean Sum?"

"Well all Im saying is that you love him, and he loves you, and with the baby, you are bound to get back together, and who knows it could be for good this time? and if he wasn't with Sadie you would still be together anyway." Summer said nudging Marissa slightly,

"It was meant to be for good all the other times, but a drama comes along and we can't handle it, if he really wants us to get back together then we really have to be certain."

"And are you?" Marissa just looked at Summer and rolled her eyes,

"That is such an obvious yes Coop, its unreal!"

"Whatever Sum, you know I still love him, I was just going through something when Johnny died"

"We had this great relationship pre-Johnny, post-Trey and then everything happenned with Johnny and Sadie, and I would take Ryan back in a mintue regardless that he cheated, but now there are complications, and just becasue I am having his baby doesn't mean that he will take me back now does it?"

"Just wait, i just know everything will fall into place, " Summer said positivley, Marissa smiled at her optimistic best friend.

"Ok then if you say so" she said wanting to agree with her.

"I know, I know. Are you going to dinner at the Cohens later? Because if not I don't have to stay and we could order take out or something?"

"No you won't have to leave on my accout, I can order myself something, It will be some disgusting food craving like Pickles and Ice cream or something?"

"That's so ew Coop!" Marissa laughed at her best friend as she trudged out of bed to go and find something to wear for that day.

"Sum, no do I look too pregnant for this shirt?" Marissa said as she held up a shirt over her nightdress.

"Coop, you are pregnant! And come on its not as if you look like 'Marissa the mammoth' you look like 'Marissa model mom' Have you seriously gained any weight on your ass, or thighs or any other place you gain weight when your pregnant?"

Marissa sat down on her big chair at the opposite end of the bed while Summer flicked through the latest Vogue.

"No, Only grown a baby bump" as she patted it lightly, She smiled down at her stomach, Summer could tell how happy she really was, not many people would be that pleased, they would think that she is ruining her life, but in Marissa's eyes, it was only making hers better.

"It must be genetics! But you know what you should do! Baby Cardio bar and Mommy Aerobics! Because then you will get all toned! And it isn't a hard workout! You know last year when I did that working week teaching younger kids Ballet and Tap! Well they had those lessons there and I helped out in a few, just encase some heavily pregnant women couldn't get off the floor! And believe me Coop you are much better off than some Mom's to be!"

Marissa laughed as she rubbed smooth circles on her stomach,

"I know I was actually thinking of Baby Cardio Bar but I didn't want to go alone! All the Moms have their husbands their, I thought it would be a bit strange to go alone! You know we really need a gay best friend! Because then he could go to all these things with me! and even though Ryan and I are getting on, can you seriously see him in a class of Newpsies doing stretching and toning? I think not"

"Your right Coop! Well I could go with you if you like! I will never turn down Cardio and I could just freak Cohen out by telling him that I'm pregnant! Oh my god that would be so funny! Can't you just see his face like all panic stricken and mumbling incessantly!"

"That would actually be hilarious! But you and Seth have your whole lives ahead of you! You will get there eventually sweetie, I promise!"

"Thanks Coop! I really appreciate that! Are you ok, you look a bit pale." Summer asked worriedly,

"Oh crap!" Marissa said as she put her hand over her mouth and ran to the bathroom, she slammed the door and from the other side Summer could hear her getting sick, over all the heaving Summer could also hear the door bell

"Coop I will be right back, ok - The door bell just went, Its probably just the yard guy or something! I will be right back!" She raced down the stairs and was supposed to see who was on the other side

She opened the glass door and took a deep breath.

"Summer my dear, you look very fetching in your sleepwear, but however I do prefer it on the floor!" Summer smiled at first but then flushed with embarrassment when she saw Ryan. Seth came through the house and was followed by Ryan. He kissed Summer on the lips and she shoved him

"Cohen!" She whined

"Oh don't worry Sum, its only Ryan, he covers for us when we have our secret rendezvous in your room."

Summer nodded and began walking back up the stairs,

"Summer! We nicely came over her for you to cook us breakfast but your going to bail and go back to bed! I'm offended" Seth feigned shock. Summer turned around on the stairs

"Coop morning sickness, I said I would hold her hair, you know where the eggs are baby!"

Summer began running up the stairs again and was followed by Ryan,

"It's alright Summer I'll go." Summer thanked him and went back downstairs to Seth while Ryan went in Marissa's bedroom.

"Riss? Are you in there?" He lightly tapped her adjoining bathroom door, He heard the toilet flushing and Marissa shuffling around.

"Ryan?" She opened the door and you could see the evident bump in her nightdress, he smiled when he saw her stomach, he had been really happy about everything so far, well almost.

"Don't look at me I look like vomit!" Ryan smiled at her as she tunred around sheltering her face.

"You couldn't look anything less"

"You always know what to say, ass." she said as she went back into her wardrobe to pick out her clothes

"Actually there was one time when you left me speechless! I looked like a complete idiot! And I came up with the great memorable line that is 'whoever you want me to be' - see that is a prime example to why I am the strong silent type"

Marissa came out and locked her gaze with him, her hormones where everywhere and all she wanted to do was run up and kiss him. He was making her bed for her and he didn't realise her looking, she shut her eyes to try and compose herself and find something to wear.

"Riss, Riss, Marissa?" Ryan said from the doorway to her, she snapped out of her gaze and gave him a smile

"Sorry, I kind of zoned out there"

"What do you want for breakfast? Seth and Summer are cooking"

"You know what, I can't really decided on one particular thing so let me get changed and then we can go and have breakfast the four of us together."

"Fine by me, and Riss, this really means a lot to me that you are letting me come to the appointment-.. I mean although we didn't get of to a great start I want to be there and to--"

"Oh my god, Ryan oh my god oh my god!!! Quick quick"

Ryan's face washed over with panic, he rushed straight over to Marissa and took her hand

"Riss what is it? what's the matter?" She took his hand, ignoring the electricity and placed it firmly on her stomach, her hand covering his.

Then his whole face broke out into a smile, it wasn't anything scary it was the baby kicking again, she grabbed Ryan's hands and placed them firmly on her stomach. His face took a moment to register what was going on but when he did Marissa was certain that she could see his eyes glass over.

"Is that? that our..?" It had left him lost for words, Marissa couldn't explain how happy she was feeling seeing him so happy and them being on good terms again.

"That's our baby Ryan!" She hugged him tightly round the neck and he didn't take his hands away from her stomach. It was so overwhelming to know that Marissa had their baby inside of her.

"That's the most amazing feeling I have ever felt in my life." He said honestly,

"I'm going to be a dad!"

Marissa nodded, wanting to freeze frame that moment. When the kicking stopped a little while later, they were just staring into each others eyes, Marissa was about to move forward but stopped herself, they broke apart and smiled at each other nervously.

"Yeh well, I bet Summer and Seth are wondering where we are, we should get down there, and then head out I suppose?"

"Yeah let me just get my purse and get ready, I will be right down in one minute" He walked outside her bedroom and shut her door and he lent against the wall

"Oh my god" he breathed, He didn't realise that on the other side of the wall Marissa was doing exactly the same.

_Hope this gives everyone lots of hope! I quite enjoyed writing this one! Let me no what you think! I am addicted to writing now:) lots of love xoxo_


	7. Chapter 7

_Thank you so much for everyone who takes the time to review - they actually make my day, I get so excited that i know people actually like it! This chapter SHOULD OF BEEN IN THE OC!! But what can you do? Just like to say - I love Adam Brody and that this might be the last chapter for a few days as I am super busy this coming weekend! Happy Friday everyone!_

_This Chapter is dedicated to all of my kind reviewers - I love you all! xoxo_

"Oh my god" she sat down on the egde of her bed and took a deep breath. Looking over at her half done outift she realised that she needed to get ready, her hair had already fallen in loose curls, she quickly applied some mascara and lip gloss, with the pregnancy glow hardly any make up was needed, and as she knew from past experience, it never took a lot to impress him.

When she opened her door, a few minutes later, she was dressed in a denim skirt and a blue floral top, that just hung loosely, you wouldn't be able to even tell she was pregnant unless you knew. Her hair was in their trademark, California girl loose girls, and of course she had a matching blue Chanel quilted bag, hanging over her shoulder.

"Ready for food" He asked whilst subtly checking her out,

"Still as gorgeous as ever, and shes pregnant!" he thought as he moved towards her to shut her door.

"Always," They made their way downstairs to the decking where Summer and Seth had tried to make breakfast for all of them.

They sat for ages just laughing and having fun, they hadn't hung out as the core four in a while - long while, and it was starting to feel like old times.

"Well we wanted to tell you guys now but me and Seth have some news."

Marissa looked at Ryan and at Seth, not knowing what they were going to announce. Ryan was also just as puzzled as Marissa.

"Well Summer and I have some news. Baby do you want to take this?"

"Ryan I think it must be important, both of them seem quite nervous and Summer hasn't shouted it out." Marissa joked

"Well I think I should start, I got into Brown!"

"Oh wow, Congrats Bro? But how?" Ryan asked confused

"Well I got put on a list and some kid must of changed their mind and my name was on the reserve list and it must have been fate? And I said yes because that means Summer and I can finally be together, at the same college!" He said smiling happily over at Summer who was holding his hand.

"And well Providence is a nice place and well, we are moving in together! Were getting our first home Coop!" Summer squealed with excitement and hugged Marissa,

"O Sum that's amazing I'm so happy for you."

"Yeh that's great man."

"Oh god Coop - I just realised, I will be in providence when you have the baby - Super cool Auntie Sum , wont even be there for the birth, this is so unfair, god Cohen this is all your fault moving us all the way to Rhode Island, Oh my god, I bet I will be replaced by Caitlin or someone, stupid bitch" she muttered under her breath, the other 3 were laughing at her ramble on.

"It will be a while before we get to that part though Sum, And on that note Ryan, we better get going. We have a big big day ahead of us,"

"Yeh guys, we need to be at our appointment soon so we will see you back at the Cohen's later? And congratulations!" They all hugged goodbye, and went their separate ways.

When they were in the range rover Marissa started to get nervous and was picking at her cuticles, Ryan noticed this and tried to make her more comfortable.

"Its ok Riss, you said yourself that its just a routine check up and a meet and greet? You have nothing to worry about."

"I know but what if its like - they can't find the babies heartbeat or something?" Marissa asked him worriedly, hoping that he would know the answers which was unfair on him , considering that it is his first appointment.

"It will be fine I promise, you have had these before right?"

"Yeh I had one yesterday," She said distractedly

"O did Summer go with you then?"he asked hoping to take her mind of off it.

"Well no, I have been going by myself, but I still get just as nervous" she said defensively, Ryan could sense that she was becoming agitated and decided to leave the subject.

"It will be fine I promise you. How about afterwards me and you can head over to Coasta Mesa if you like we can go to South Coast? I don't know we can buy the baby a few things. If you want to?" She smiled at his effort to try and make this better, it wasn't his fault at all - unless you count getting her pregnant but sometimes she was just a bit bitchy. It was pregnancy hormones, or at least he hoped it was.

"Yeh I would like that thanks, Ryan I need to ask you something."

"Ask away" he said more apprehensively than he was letting on.

"What are we doing? What are we Ross and Rachel two friends that are having a baby together?"

"Well if you want to look at it that way then yes," Marissa's face fell, depressed that he didn't say anything more, she was lucky he wasn't finished because if that was it then their would have been tears.

"But we are more than friends Marissa, and whatever happens this baby is going to have two parents that love it lots. I was thinking last night that I really want to get us an apartment in LA, so we can share responsibilities with it and then in a couple of years we can move to a bigger house so the baby has more room." He smiled at her genuinely as the car stopped, before they knew anything both of them had leaned in and were staring deeply into one another's eyes.

Suddenly Marissa closed the gap between them and pressed her lips against Ryan's, they stayed there for a while each move becoming more heated. Ryan's hand found the way to the back of Marissa's head and her hands began playing with his hair, as they deepened the kiss it became more meaningful. They were both subconsciously edging closer and closer, until they broke apart gasping for air. Then she realised what they had both done.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry I just oh my god" she said as she put her hand over her mouth.

"Marissa look at me" he turned her stunned face to look at him

"I meant that. That meant something between the both of us and you know it."

"Ryan we can't you have a girlfriend and your not with me and don't get me wrong, I do but we can't I'm sorry"

"She never meant as much to me as you do, I broke up with her already"

"What?" Marissa asked shocked but in her mind cheering.

"Come on you seriously didn't think that it would last between her and I did you? It wasn't like what we had" Marissa felt her heart soften at his words, but all she could think about was her parents. Being so'in-love' when they had her and then falling apart over the years.

"Ryan were over, I don't want the baby to keep us together if were not right for each other, we can't we are both children of divorces, and there is no way I want to see my baby witness their parents arguing all the time. I lived it, it cause me to overdose, and you to steal a car then get arrested!"

"Yeh but for me, it was the best thing I ever did" he said reaching over to touch her hnad, Marissa swalloed thickly after feeling the electricity. She knew Ryan felt it, you could tell from his face.

"Marissa please, we can do this, together as a couple, we can get back together move to a new place, nothing can get in our way, not if we love each other, I know I do? Do you?"

Marissa turned to look at him, she could tell he was a sincere as when he first said those three little words, the look in his eyes, and the passion that they had for each other.

"Yes, I do" she said shocking herself, does this mean that Ryan and Marissa would get back together now? They mouths intertwined in another kiss, showing each other how much the other meant. When they broke apart, their foreheads leant against each other and he kissed her nose.

"I love you" He said, one would think it was too soon, but Marissa knew it wasn't not after everything that they had been through, it was now reassuring each other for the first time.

"I love you to" After they kissed again enjoying each other for the frist time in what felt like years.

"I think that I owe you an apology"

"No you don't its --"

"Look Marissa I am so sorry for ever not having faith in us, and sorry for the whole road trip with Sadie, I should have been here with you trying to make it work. I gave up on what we had to easily and I have been in limbo since that night when I rang you, throwing myself into things just to take my mind of off it, I need you in my life Riss, I even cried, and my mom used to say that Atwood's never cry and just so you know it won't happen again, you and the baby are going to be my whole world."

Marissa began to lightly cry. This is what she wanted, her and Ryan back together, he was what made her alive, made her feel and made her love.

"So what are we now?" Marissa asked curiously, she took Ryan's hand and looked into his blue eyes, in her eyes you could get lost in them.

"So is that a yes then, are you officially my girlfriend?" He asked breathlessly,

"Ry, we are so far past that mark" After one more kiss, they both got out of the car and walked hand in hand down the pier. This was like the time when they got back together over their first break up and were at the end of the pier with their balboa bars.

When they reached the doctors office, they were both grinning like crazy; one because they had both gotten back together and because they were going to see their baby.

They sat in the waiting room, their hands joined and both reading a magazine with the title 'Modern Moms and Dad'.They were both looking at articles of the parents and things to know on the babies.

"Look Ry, and article for pregnant women to model, I could do that!"

"Whatever you want is fine with me," Marissa took the number and stored it in her cell and after a little while longer her name was called.

"Marissa Cooper" There heads shot up and they saw there Nurse standing with her clipboard, Marissa stood up taking Ryan"s hand with her and they all followed the nurse into the room.

"Marissa, I believe that you know the routine I will be back in a minute dear," she sent a warm smile Marissa's way and Marissa sat on the bed, with Ryan next to her not wanting to leave her alone.

When the nurse returned she wheeled in a machine and took a seat next to Marissa's bed.

"My name is Helena, and Marissa, I am going to take you up to the birth sweetie,"

"It will be definitely be you delivering our baby won't it? Because I don't want some stranger?"

"I promise it will be me sweetie" She pulled up a chair and sat down.

"Have you got any questions before we start?" The kind women asked the two lovers.

"Well as of this morning, we will be moving to West Hollywood, but I want to be in Newport when I have the baby because we both have our families here, so I want to be induced, but what if I go into labour at LA and can't get down here in time?"

"Well we can induce you here if you want but I do suggest that you go and meet another doctor in LA just encase, it will just be more practical that way, as nearer the time you might get Braxton Hicks and it will be better for you to have two doctors."

"Ok right, Ryan we need to look at Doctors when we get there, don't forget!" she ordered him. He knew that it was her mood swings and just laughed at her.

"Well from our records, your due date should be, on the 9th of October"

"That's my Dad's birthday Ry!" Marissa said excitedly

"So I'm just going to ask you some questions and then we can do a sonogram to make sure everything is as it should be. But I need to know a few things first, don't worry its fine." Marissa looked relived and took Ryan's hand again,

"Do you get morning sickness everyday and is it lasting what feels like the whole day?"

"How did you guess?" Marissa asked,

"Oh sweetie I have had four babies, it's horrible isn't it, but now your just in your second trimester you should be getting less and less of it. Do you know about the high in mercury rule, no sushi, no tuna"the nurse asked her.

"Oh yes, I haven't touched them, I didn't want to risk it."

"And you haven't been drinking or smoking?" Marissa shook her head proudly,

"Not a drop and I haven't smoked in about 3 years." she looked over at Ryan, thinking the last time that she smoked was when she met him for the first time.

"Well that's good, so Dad what are her mood swings like?" Marissa shot Ryan a glare and sensed that he had stepped right into one.

"She's fantastic" he said as he glanced lovingly at her.

"Well it looks like you two are really in love" the nurse commented as she wheeled over the machines. Ryan took Marissa's hand and kissed it. She smiled at him

"Well that's good. Marissa want to take a look at the baby while were here?" Both Marissa and Ryan nodded and the nurse plugged in the monitor and got out her gel

"This maybe a little cold ok?" Marissa lifted up her shirt to show her swollen tan stomach and winced and tightened her grip on Ryan's hand as the nurse put the gel on.

"More than a little?" Ryan asked Marissa as he kissed her cheek. Marissa smiled the whole way through, in her eyes this was turning out to be the best day ever. The nurse typed some things into her computer and readjusted the screen, both Ryan and Marissa happily waiting for what they were going to see next.

"Well Mommy and Daddy that is your baby" a strong heartbeat filled the room and she gave Ryan and Marissa a extremely clear picture of the child, Marissa was happily crying seeing her baby, it never failed to amaze her, and Ryan, you could tell that he was really pleased, a grin so big that it never left his face and the look her gave Marissa, there was no doubt that they would be ok. Ryan lent in to Marissa and kissed her cheek,

"I love you" he whispered,

"thank you" she also whispered quietly.

"Congratulations sweetie, looks like everything is in order, let me just get you some clearer pictures, the other ones aren't as good I bet" Marissa shook her head and the nurse gave Ryan and Marissa a picture.

"Marissa I will see you before you leave for Los Angeles, if you want to make another appointment at the reception desk"

"Thank you so much" Ryan told the nurse earnestly,

"You will make great parents" he smiled appreciatively at her as Marissa cleared the gel from her stomach.

"You ready Riss" he held her hand as she got down from the bed, the two of them made another appointment and then left.

"I can't believe how amazing that was, actually seeing it, was one of the most greatest things in my life thank you so much" he said huskily in her ear as they held each other on the pier.

_Hope you like the latest! I thought I would send out some hapiness - Both Ryan and Marissa, and Seth and Summer! Always ready to hear what people have to say good and bad and what you would like inculded in the story - and what you want this baby to be? hmm? Have a nice weekend and thank you for reading! xoxo_


	8. Chapter 8

_Thanks so much for the comments left after the last chapter, I am happy to hear what people have to say, good or bad. This is sort of a filler before we go on to more storylines. So enjoy xoxo_

"Can you actually believe that that's the baby?" She asked him as they walked hand in hand towards the car.

"Nope, I can't believe that its in your belly to be honest?" Ryan was stopped by Marissa laughing at him.

"Ryan you said belly, what are you 8?"

"Well it sounded to technical to say womb" he said also laughing,

"You make me laugh Ryan Atwood,"

"Well you have a nice laugh Marissa Cooper, it would be a tragedy not to hear it."

"Smooth" she commented him sarcastically,

"I do try, did you say something earlier about wanting to go to the mall, because I'm not working today, so I have a free afternoon if you wanted to"

"I would love to, but I don't think that I have ever heard you volunteer yourself for shopping, you do remember what shopping with me was like don't you because as I recall you once said ▒the boredom is worse than the valley, and you already have that shirt'" Ryan smiled, remembering the time when he said that, it was when they went shopping before they went to Palm Springs with Oliver, Marissa was trying to get Ryan to buy some more shirts and less hoodies and he didn't take kindly to the criticism.

"That was because you were trying to get me to buy every shirt in Abercrombie and Fitch during my bad boy phase, what did you expect? If you like we could get some baby things? I know how girls love to shop even if it is for the unborn."

"I would love to, I need to get some things for me as well, not trying to sound shellfish, but less and less clothes fit me nowadays, and when I went there the other day, I was looking in some baby stores and I don't usually buy for the label, but there was a Chanel diaper bag, and I really loved it so I though Grandma-Cooper-Nichol-Roberts might want to treat her first born grand-child, before she cuts me off." Ryan smiled at Marissa whilst she carefully put her baby photo bag in her bag.

" You know, I can buy the baby things to, I have some money saved from my internship at the Newport group. I definitely pays being the CEO's son."

"I know you can, but we can't waste your money, I really appreciate it and everything but we really need to save as much as we can. I want to help to, I have my trust fund from both my Mom and then the one from my Dad. I can also ring that advert for pregnant women about modelling, it isn't much but it will help" Ryan touched her hand whilst he was driving

"You don't have to"

"I want to ok - I promise it's ok"

"Well whatever you want, I am fine with, you will be great, and of course the baby too, especially if it has your genetics." Marissa laughed at his bad attempt of complimenting her

"God this isn't Journey is it?" Marissa asked, looking repulsed.

"What its good?"

"No its not, looks like I need to make you another cd, the baby better have my music taste instead of yours."

"Our child is going to be into Disney songs for the first part of their life you know that right?"

"Still I know what it is going to be like - it's a mother's intuition"

"Right Einstein, tell me about out unborn child?" he said jokinly,

"Fine, if we have a boy, he is going to have longish hair but not like that rocker from Whitestar, like cute little boy long, be good at soccer like their Daddy and they will play the drums or guitar or something and will like good music o, and they can wear skinny jeans and go to a place like the Bait Shop, and you and him will be really good friends, and he will be really cute and a good little boyfriend, not one like Luke - Ryan I can see it now, piercing blue eyes, and the image of both of us, Oh my god its so exciting." Ryan laughed at her enthusiasm

"That would be pretty great, but what if we have a girl?"

"Well then that's obvious;" She said in a 'duh-tone'

" she will be tallish and probably like me when I was little, long loose blonde curls, with really bright blue eyes, that she will get from you. Summer is her aunt so she will know how to shop, o me and you could take her and pick her up from Dance classes and girly things like that. She would be a heartbreaker, and I would be a good mom not like my mom I would let her make her own decisions and we would be good friends, but she will be a Daddy's girl too. And when she would have her cotillion she would be standing proudly on your arm, and on her first day of school we would stand waiting outside her classroom for her to come out and she would see us with a big grin on our face."

"So you given it a lot of thought then?"

"O Yeh, all girls do and I'm convinced boys do too but they don't admit it, Is it too much?"

"No I think that its amazing Riss." he gave her a classic half smile as she carried on day dreaming.

He hadn't even thought about what the Baby will be like, If it is looks like Marissa then he will be more than happy, but they will have some Atwood traits too. Marissa hummed happily too the radio and her hands on her stomach.

"Ryan how weird is it that in about 6 months we are going to have a baby to look after 24/7, like we will be with it all the time"

"I know, It is quite exciting though, I can't think of anyone I would rather be doing this with though."

"Just so you know Ryan I was going to tell you, I had only told Summer and Seth that day, and"

"You don't need to explain yourself to me Marissa, I should have been there from the beginning, no matter what," He parked the car and reassured her by holding her hand and kissing her cheek.

"You here now that's all that matters, and we are at South Coast Plaza with my moms credit card, so we really have nothing to worry about." she kissed him back and got out of the car.

"Ryan the baby is moving around all over the place at the moment," she said as they were in the elevator

"Feel it quick" Ryan got that familiar smile back on his face as he felt his child move around

"Its because it's a girl and she's excited about shopping! Father's intuition" She laughed at him and they walked hand in hand through the shopping mall.

"We haven't done this in a while"

"I know I definitely missed it, not the shopping but the spending time with you" Marissa smiled and took his lips in a kiss, for once their little world was perfect.

_Thats another one! If anyone is wondering why I am churning them out so quickly its because ages ago when my computer broke I wrote like 5 fan fics, so now I decided to put it up and when I am putting them up on here, I basically go through and edit and write some more too them. But I hope everyone liked this chapter! I think I did, everyone loves a bit of fluff! xoxo_


	9. Chapter 9

_Sorry about the wait for this one! I have been majorly busy but I still had made time to read all of the positive comments when I was in my Business class! Thanks to everyone! _

_And antoher thing - I saw Rahcel Bilson yesterday in a shop in London, It was deffinitly her - i saw her face and then heard all of the stylists talking about her saying that she was finally there and what clothes there were going to give her, I couldnt belive that I really saw Summer - she is really prettty in real life and basically the same as she is on camera,maybe a little taller than I expected. Probably because she always looks so tiny when she is shooting scenes with Mischa Barton and Adam Brody! I was so star-struck, if she hadnt of gone into a room with some onsite sylists then I would of run up to her and gooten lots of pictures and autographs - like the extremely sad person I am! I think that this chapter has to be dedicated to the lovely Rachel Bilson - my fashion hero!_

_So on with the story - here is the next chapter, we are seriously moving quite fast with this story :)_

Eventually they had eaten and Ryan had been dragged to what felt like all the stores there and more, he had carried every bag she had, not wanting her to carry anything, like the gentleman he was, truth is he just wanted something to whine about later. They finally got to the one they both wanted to come for, the baby store.

"This is so exciting Ry, look at all the clothes. They are so small, Ryan our baby will be that tiny."

"It doesn't seem real does it" he said as he aimlessly went through the shop looking at various items,"

"I want the baby to stay that size forever, - Oh my god, I have to get this." It was a blanket that was pink and had ribbon sewn around the edge and.

"i'ts so soft, o but what if it's a boy? We need to get it in blue as well then" she said procrastinating about which one to get. She had also picked up some more things that she like, two terrycloth onsies in pink and blue, and some pacifiers with the same colours on, books on 'what to expect when your expecting' and some other books, and she bought a baby record book.

"Ready to pay now Maris?" Ryan asked her smiling as she looked over everything that she had bought.

"Yeh just let me" she tried to balance her things and her bags, but Ryan got out his credit card first,

"No let me" they were queuing up to pay and a shrill voice was heard behind them.

"MARISSA, SWEETIE IS THAT YOU??" Marissa's eyes opened and turned to Ryan

"Ryan who is it" she whispered in a hushed voice, she asked scared to turn round,

"A newpsie" Ryan said unable to judge by all the work that they had done.

"Well obviously dumbass we are in South Coast Plaza!," Marissa whispered her sentence and winced before she turned round.

"Marissa I thought that it was you there, how are you sweetie" The lady gave Marissa an air kiss on both cheeks and gave Ryan a weird smile,

"I'm good thanks, and you?" Marissa asked warmly even though Ryan could tell that she wanted nothing more than the ground to open up and swallow her.

"O I'm sorry I haven't introduced you to have I, Ryan this is Mrs. Ward - Luke's Mom, and Mrs Ward this is my boyfriend Ryan." Marissa emphasised the 'Luke's Mom' part which had Ryan laughing, Mrs. Ward just have Ryan a snir,

"Aren't you the boy form Chino?" She asked whilst looking down her noise at him, Ryan scoffed before answering, Marissa stopped him and took his hand,

"So Mrs Ward what brings you here today," Ryan really admired Marissa being able to hold a conversation with some people who she hated, that come from being Julie and Jimmy Cooper's daughter for sure.

"My sister just adopted some kid so I came to buy it a present" Ryan smirked at her tone, obviously implying something bad about adopting, knowing full well that Sandy and Kirsten had him.

"How about you dear? Oh god your mother and Neal Roberts aren't having a baby are they?" she asked hunting for gossip

"No actually I am," she said proudly, the older woman's face fell a little bit, but Marissa stood there proudly,

"We are actually, but we are really busy today so I am going to have to say bye Mrs Ward, come on Ryan there is a free cashier down the end." Marissa took Ryan's hand and led him away from the Newpsie, both of them laughed when they got to the other end, paid for their items and left.

"Well that was quite funny" Ryan commented as they loaded all of their purchases in the boot of the range rover

"Yeh well after I said I was pregnant I thought she might of thought it was Luke's or something, I'm really nervous Ryan"

"What about"

"Well about telling Sandy and Kirsten obviously, they are going to hate me! Oh my god Ryan, I think im having a pregnancy panic attack" she tried to calm her breathing and was making weird hand movements all over the place.

"Baby, listen to me ok, it will be fine! I promise you" He said trying to reassure her, he could sense that she was a bit edgy because of her mood swings so he didn't want to say to much

"That's easy for you to say this isn't the first time you have had to tell your parents that you got a girl pregnant!" Marissa said panicky whilst still trying to take deep breaths

"Gee thanks" he knew that it was her hormones so didn't say anything, although he did know why Marissa would be nervous.

He put on the radio to try and soothe her, and she did seam to try and calm down, with her hands in the usual place of her stomach and by the time they got home she was out of her stressed mood swing,

"I'm sorry Ry, I love you really its just these stupid hormones" she leaned over and kissed him slowly on the lips.

"All is forgotten, no worries, you know after, I know a guy who has a pool house all to himself, and if you promise to be nice I think he might let you use it" he said huskily,

"Excellent because I really need a foot massage and maybe my shoulders too thanks" she hopped out of the car and Ryan went to get the bags, she waited for him at the step, too afraid to go any further.

"Come Riss, it isn't that bad" he took her hand and opened the front door.

"Hello is anyone here?" Ryan shouted through his home. Marissa grabbed on tightly to his hand not wanting to let go.

"hey Ryan were in the kitchen." Sandy replied. Ryan took Marissa's hand and he practically dragged her through the house.

"Hey Ryan" Sandy said, not witnessing Marissa's presence

"And Marissa, hey sweetie how are you?" Kirsten went over and kissed Marissa on the cheek as did Sandy.

"Its been a long time kid" Sandy said whilst looking at Ryan, Marissa simply nodded.

"Right so this isn't easy" Ryan started. Ryan felt Marissa's hand tense up within his. Sandy and Kirsten both looked worried about the two teens and ushered them into the living room.

"What isn't Ryan? Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"No, Marissa and I, we are back together again, Sadie and I broke up and Marissa and I really love each other, but over the last couple of months we just hadn't realised it."

"You had me worried guys, well thank god, I was saying to Summer that you two would get back together, you are just made for each other, and you have college next year, o wow you get to start a whole new life together-" Kirsten was rambling in her normal motherly way about how happy she was, but Sandy was onto Ryan and was a bit more perceptive.

"Ryan, there is more, I know you"

"Yeh there is more, I will do it Ryan, its ok" Marisa said reassuringly, she decided the only way to do this was fast, it was like ripping off a band aid.

"I'm pregnant" Marissa tried to say confidently as she could without her voice breaking with tears.

Sandy and Kirsten just looked a bit shocked at first but then tried to comfort them,

"I'm the father" Sandy and Kirsten's jaws dropped a little bit. It took a while to sink in, but Kirsten was the first to speak, she had been in the position of being a pregnant teenager, and she admired Marissa to do this, and she was also proud of Ryan, for sticking by her.

"Wow, um wow,.How far is it?um?" Sandy couldn't really string sentences together, shocked at what the young couple were saying.

"3 months, but we haven't know for that long" Ryan tightened his grip on Marissa's hand. They were all sitting in silence when Kirsten asked if she could talk to Marissa for a while.


	10. Chapter 10

_Thanks to my great reviewers - this story is for you. But I have to dedicate this chapter to my goddaughter who just learnt to say my name this week, she is getting so big and she is inspiring me to write well all things baby related :)_

_Here it is ..._

Marissa unwillingly let go of Ryan's hand and followed Kirsten back onto the terrace. Marissa sat down in one of the chairs and her hands wrapped around her stomach, fiddling with her fingers too, as she was extremely anxious about what she had to say.

"Marissa" that part alone was the worst bit, her voice seemed disappointed, and Marissa hated to disappoint the people that she loved.

"Congratulations sweetie" she enveloped her in a surprise hug. Marissa expected her to shout at first but it was ok. Marissa hugged back and when Kirsten bought her arms away, she had tears in her eyes, Marissa hadn't expected her to react like this, she expected shouting for ruining Ryan's life, like her mother had argued with her when she found out, she laughed at her thoughts when she realised Kirsten Cohen was not Julie Cooper-Nichol-Cooper-Roberts

"I'm going to be a Grandma?" Marissa nodded and smiled, Kirsten was genuinely happy for them she knew that their love would get them through it and they would try to manage on their own.

"I can't believe this," Kirsten said happily, they both sat for a moment in a comfortable silence.

"What are you doing with school next year?" Kirsten asked her, realising that they weren't a married couple in their 20's they were not even freshman at college, just graduated from Harbour.

"Erm well since I don't want to start when I'm about to have the baby, I'm going to do the online course thing, and then maybe when the baby is a few months old, me and Ryan could take turns in looking after the baby while we both do school and work I suppose." Truth be told, Marissa thought that she would have the baby and not go to school working when she could.

"And when we were at the doctors, there was an advert for pregnant women to model maternity wear so I was going to do that, and we both have trust funds"

"Well Sandy and I will be here for anything that you need, helping with the baby, getting you ready for it, I've done it too you know sweetie so you can come to me." She put her arms around Marissa and rubbed her back, after a while Kirsten could hear sniffling and when she looked down to Marissa, Marissa was lightly crying. At once her motherly instinct took in.

"O Marissa what's the matter sweetie?" Kirsten asked rubbing her back

"What if I turn out like my mom?" Marissa asked hiccupping a tear, she had had fears about this before and the intensity of the day has made her hormones rage.

"You won't sweetie, you and Ryan will give this baby the best life that you can, I promise, nobody will love it more, now lets get inside, I know how sad Ryan gets when his not with you and we don't want to see him cry do we?"

"Thanks Kirsten," Marissa smiled at her appreciatively. Marissa and Kirsten walked back into the house and were faced with the boys, Sandy looked disappointed in them both and Marissa could tell that Ryan was angry. The air in the room was thick and Ryan shot Kirsten a look saying 'thanks-at-least-the-baby-will-have-one-grandparent-that-will-love-it.'

"Riss Im going to stay at yours tonight" Ryan said abruptly as he stood up and walked towards the pool house. Marissa looked between the two men, both looking as angry as each other,

"Ryan I don't think that it's a good idea do you? I mean under the circumstances" Sandy asked him, talking to his adopted son like he was a child.

"Yeah well, She's already pregnant -I can't get her pregnant again so I don't know what you're worried about" Ryan was firm on his words, and he also glanced at Marissa to let her know that he didn't mean it.

"Don't talk to me in that way Ryan! Im your father!!!"

"Well then act like one" He shouted back just as loudly, If Sandy had raised his voice to Seth then he would be a tiny bit scared of him, but Sandy knew that after Ryan had seen when he was in Chino, shouting was nothing.

He left for the pool house, leaving Marissa standing awkwardly in the room with Kirsten and Sandy, Sandy looked mortified and Kirsten just looked apologetic, when her hands found her stomach she wanted to cry, she had never meant to cause anyone any problems, she didn't want Ryan to be fighting with the Cohen's, she didn't want Sandy to dislike her and Ryan's baby. She soon followed Ryan's footsteps out to the pool house and could see him hastily throwing things into his duffel bag.

"Hey" she said as she walked over to him at the dresser, wrapping her arms around him trying to close the gap between the two of them. He hugged back quickly and then went back to putting wife beaters and some boxers into his bag, as well as clothes for the next day.

"So what was that about?" She tried to ask casually,

"I will tell you in the car" he grabbed her hand and lead her back through the house.

Ryan got to the front door and gave Sandy a cold stare, Kirsten tried to get up to stop him from leaving so abruptly.

"I'm at Marissa's , which is probably where Seth is too, and I will see you at the Nweport Group tomorrow for the new project. Bye Kirsten, Come on Marissa" he slammed the mansion door hard and got in his car.

He slammed the door to his car and started it angrily.

"At least Kirsten took it well." Marissa stated hoping to get Ryan to come out of his sulk,

"Yeh but Sandy didn't, after everything that we have been through the least I could of expected of him was for him to be there when I needed him," Marissa could tell how upset Ryan was with Sandy and decided not to push the subject any further.

They sat in silence for most of the way home, mainly because Marissa felt guilty because she thought that it was her being in Ryan's life that The Cohen's were angry at him. He reached over to her hand and her squeezed it trying to tell her that he wasn't cross with her. When they got back to the mansion they got out and Ryan went to open the door for Marissa. She smiled at his gesture and met him with a kiss.

"Quite the gentleman"

"Well what can I say, and I do remember that I promised someone a foot massage earlier? I thought maybe you could have a relaxing bath, I could make you some food then after we can watch a movie and I will give you a foot massage, because I love you that much." They walked hand in hand to the door with Marissa's head lying on his shoulder.

After a shoulder, neck and foot massage, food, The Notebook and apology call from Sandy, some making up Ryan and Marissa style. They both slept peacefully in each others arms. Both never knowing quite how they were bought back together but both knowing it was for good.

_I found this chapter a little bit boring but they had to tell Sandy and Kirsten sometime:)The Next chapter will go forward a few moths because everyone knows what happens in the long period of a pregnancy, they clothes shop, go for meetings, get fatter and it is in a lot of fics! I will try not to disappoint with the next chapter. I think we also need a vote on girl or boy, I am on the sidelines but I need to be swayed, the sex is kind of crucial to the future of this story and maybe some sequels? Let me know thanks xoxo_


	11. Chapter 11

_I just want to say thank you ever so much for the kind words and advice from the reviewers! I hope you like my story enough to carry on reading even if you don't some of the ideas! _

_Heres another, set a couple of months later! _

_Dedicated to Adam Brody - one thought and I can get through my physics lessons :)_

The months past, and in two weeks the teens were getting ready to go off to the respective colleges. But before they were leaving Sandy was taking the boys for a 'Pre-College Man weekend' taking his sons to Palm Springs, to have one weekend before they were with the girls permanently. Kirsten was also going to take the girls to the spa and make a fuss of them before they both left. Ryan and Marissa were going to leave a little bit later for UCLA, seeing as it was only a short while away, instead of moving across the country like Seth and Summer. They now had a plan and vaguely knew what they were going to do when they finally got to Los Angeles. Kirsten had made some phone calls for Ryan and 4 days a week he was going to be in school studying architecture and the other one he was going to be doing some work for the Newport Group on one of their surviving offices, Marissa was going to be taking online courses and had already done a few photo shoot, not that modelling would be her career, even though she had gotten really good reports from it, and it was a whole page spread and something she could do to contribute. Ryan and Marissa were both happy with him working, happy that he would be providing for his family in the way that he could, with still going to school and getting his degree too. Now she was 8months pregnant and they were both proud of it.

When Jimmy had found out that they were pregnant, he insist that he let them help, even though Marissa was certain that she wanted to do this by herself, Jimmy would be giving them some money every month, for essentials for the baby, seeing that he won't be around due to his years away on his boat. He also liked to think that one of Marissa's parents would be there for them and the baby.

Julie however was a different story, she had not shouted at Marissa, but at Ryan she had offered him money to go away and convince Marissa to get an abortion, but the love that both of them had for each other had overcome Julie's ways and she succumbed finally deciding to not be like her mother, who was not there for her when she become pregnant, and help Marissa through this, but after one last attempt to make her get an abortion, Marissa gave up, she would never get on with her mother.

"Ok so don't have too much fun this weekend" Marissa said as they got out of the range rover, and were getting all of their kissing out of the way so Seth wouldn't moan about 'scaring his eyes'. However Marissa's ever growing belly was getting in the way of that. Her fingers were running through his hair and he pulled her as close as he could.

"I highly doubt that I will have any fun at all, I mean its golf, and things like that, If it was Vegas then it would be different, with all the strippers and things." He joked as she leaned into kiss him, he put his hand on her stomach and he felt the baby move,

"And think of it this way, when I get home, we get to move in together for good and not just the pool-house I mean our own home! And then soon the baby will be here" they kissed again, soon it leading further only to be stopped by Seth who was making gagging noises at the door.

"Come on guys! Ryan's only going to be gone for a few days! Come on buddy! If we leave now it will be happy hour when we get there! Summer will look after Marissa and Baby Seth Atwood! Get in the car!"Marissa gave Ryan one last kiss, and let him go, with a sad look on her face she held her tummy as he got dragged away by Seth.

"I've told you before, the baby isn't going to be called Seth even if it is a boy!"

"Bye Riss I love you" he said from the car. She waved them off with Summer and Kirsten and then headed back inside. Without Ryan by her side it was going to be a long 4 days.

After an afternoon of shopping for baby clothes and for themselves, all three girls returned to the Cohen house.

Then in the afternoon they all laid out by the pool, Marissa becoming more embarrassed about going to the beach in a bikini because of other people. Then later that night, when their day had finished Marissa and Summer were getting ready to go out together whilst Kirsten and Julie were going to the Yacht Club.

"Come on Coop!" Summer said knocking on the door, she heard some rustling and then light sobs.

"Not now Sum!" She choked out. Summer opened the door, to find Marissa sitting at the foot of the bed and crying,

"O Coop what's the matter" Summer asked worriedly as she sat down beside her best friend

"It's just I am so fat, and usually when I get like this, Ryan comes in, kisses my belly and says I am more beautiful than the day I met him, but he's not here and I am fat and ugly and people are going to look at me and think that I am a complete whore!!!!!" She leant her head on Summer's shoulder and began to cry

"And I swear to god Summer, If you say that I'm not fat but pregnant then I am going to hide your Juicy Sweat suits or something really bad!!" Marissa threatened her

"O honey even with the pregnancy hormones, you aren't a bitch, we need to work on that! I tell you what, I will call Ryan and he can tell you over the phone so we can then go out! We haven't had a girls night in forever and pregnant or not, me and my best friend are going to go on that dance floor at the bait shop tonight!" Marissa nodded and began to sniffle as Summer reached out her cell from her bag.

"Its ringing" she informed her. Marissa's face had even changed at the thought of talking to Ryan

"Hello?" Ryan shouted into the phone, his hands against his ear, trying to hear over the music.

"Ryan" Summer asked, suspiciously hearing all of the screaming and whooping on the other end

"Um Summer Hey" He said nervously sending Seth a look to say that his girlfriend was on the phone.

"Why are you acting funny? What is Seth doing and tell me because I know that you aren't playing golf at right now, why did I even believe that story?" Summer asked herself stupidly,

"Erm?" Summer could hear the phone being passed around

"Dude it's Summer," Seth picked up the phone to Summer who was angrily tapping her foot against the floor waiting for his answers

"Summer! Look I can explain, My Dad took us to a club! But we hate it, its karaoke and he's next up, he has consumed a lot of beer, we were playing golf but Ryan sucked so my Dad thought this would be fun but its not and Ryan is sitting her depressed because for one, he isn't with Marissa and brooding over something, seriously Sum you can see the wheels turning, and secondly they don't have any Journey songs! Huh gutted Dude!"

"Ok don't care Cohen, its just that me and Marissa are about to go and hit the town, and she won't go until she talks to Ryan, so you better pass the phone over! We have some hot Spanish waiters, waiting at the door for us" she said with a smirk on his face, knowing exactly how he would react.

"You are too committed to your jokes against me Summy! I know you wouldn't look at another man, not while you have me! I love you and stay out of trouble, here's Ryan"

"Bye, O hi Ryan, Here's Coop" Summer handed the phone over,

"Hello Ryan" Marissa said into the phone, just hoping that hearing his voice will make her and the baby feel better .

"I know that I have nothing to get upset about, its just that I miss you and I haven't felt to good all day, and the baby has been kicking really bad today probably because they miss you, I know┘..I love you too!Have fun!..Bye" Marissa sighed as she put down the phone,

"Thanks Sum," Marissa said appreciatively to her best friend

"The pregnancy has made me really moody, and dependable, but we are going to get over that fact and go out! I haven't actually been out in months, and this may be the last time before college and me becoming a Mom! So I'm thinking that new club downtown. If the boys are in a club - even if it is karaoke, then we are going to have fun! Now let me just find something to wear that doesn't make me look pregnant"

Within 20 minutes Summer and Marissa were both ready to go out. Marissa had already told Summer that her being pregnant, was restricting her from doing so many things, she would not be dancing on her feet for ages at a time, and she wouldn't be drinking, not that they did when they were together usually, but sometimes Marissa would drink, and Summer couldn't stop her, but now she didn't need any restraints, not with a baby inside of her. It would of all been perfect if the baby would stop kicking and moving around.

They got past the doorman easily, went through and even got a few looks on the way in. Clearly the flowy dress that Marissa had chosen to wear had managed to convince people that she wasn't pregnant. A few hours after they had been there Marissa began to feel tired. She went and sat down while Summer went to get their mocktails. She suddenly got a shooting pain in her stomach, one like she had never had before, when Summer got back and found her best friend looking uncomfortable, she decided that after a while it might be time for them to head home.

"Coop are you going to be ok?" Summer asked concerned as she drove them back to her house. Marissa's breathing had become more and more laboured and the pains were coming faster and faster.

"Um Sum, u,mmm I think I need to go to the hospital" Marissa said gripping the side of the car so hard, turning her knuckles white. Summer immediately tried to drive faster than she already was within the speeding limit.

"What do you think is wrong Coop? Are you in labour? I, oh my god um just take deep breaths, he-ho-ho" She tired to interoperate the breathing noises from all the movies, but nothing could take all the pain away from.

"I can't be in labour, I'm only in my 8 month, I need Ryan I need Ryan" she kept asking as the tears were now flowing more freely. Summer tried to lean across to give Marissa her hand so she could take some of the pain out on her, that didn't work to well as a huge wave of pain hit Marissa, letting Summer feel a fraction of quite how painful it really is.

As soon as they got into the hospital, Marissa was whisked away by some doctors and taken into an examination room, Summer had been told to phone a parent or guardian and since both of theirs were in Europe, she phoned Kirsten. Her hands were shaky and sweating with fear that something would happen to Marissa or the baby.

"Kirsten? Its Summer" she spoke fast, trying to get Kirsten to the hospital as soon as possible

"Hey sweetie are you ok?"

"I think you need to get down to the hospital? It's Marissa and they need a parent or guardian? And she is asking for Ryan to and I don't know what to do,."

Summer was panicking and Kirsten was practically running out of the house to the car

"I will be there as soon as I can Summer, I will phone Ryan on the way, but he wont be there for a while, so you tell the doctors that I will be there soon and you go sit with Marissa, I know its scary Summer but you have to be strong"

"Okay see you soon" Summer put the phone down and immediately went to find her best friend. The doctors had lied her down on the examination bed and her stomach was already wired up to sonogram machine. Summer rushed to her bedside where Marissa was crying slightly waiting for the doctors to come back.

"Summ, what if something happens to the baby?" Marissa asked concerned. The thought that something bad could happen to the baby that her and Ryan created made her sick.

"Think positive thoughts Marissa, please, don't even go down the depressive road yet. Okay? I bet the baby just wanted to stress you out, that's what babies do Coop. I'm sure everything will be fine." Marissa nodded trying to believe Summer, but she had a feeling that she had done something wrong, and now she was paying for it.

"Have the doctors told you what is wrong? Summer queried as she looked at the clock wondering how much longer it would take Kirsten to get to them. The waiting was unbearable. There was an elephant in the room, and nothing that you could say could get rid of it. Both of the girls were silently praying that nothing would happen to the baby that they had come so close to living in the recent months.

There was a knock at the door and Kirsten entered, rushing straight to Marissa's side and hugging her, you would think that Kirsten was Marissa's mother, not Ryan's adoptive one.

"What happened sweetie? Have the doctors told you anything yet?!" Kirsten aasked adressing both of the girls as Marissa dried her eyes.

"No, but did you get hold of Ryan" she asked hopefully. Kirsten shook her head, and Marissa's eyes started to water again.

"But it's ok because I left a message with their hotel and I have left messages on all of their cells, they will be here as soon as they can" Kirsten tried to reassure her, and Marissa nodded pretending that this was all ok. Even though the two other women in the room would never believe her.

"I think I will go and see if I can find a doctor?" Summer suggested a while later as the suspense was annoying all of them.

Summer stepped out of the room, and looked around for any doctor that could give them news on Marissa.

She soon found a doctor, he was a young man in scrubs, standing over by the doctors reception desk. Summer walked over , her Christian Louboutin heels clicking under the clean hospital floor. When they had both dressed up in their dark was skinny jeans and heels (well Manolo flats for Marissa, and she is a maternity mom now, she may be skinny even while pregnant, she isn't superwoman) Summer viciously waved her hand to get attention of the doctor.

"Um yeah, like hey! My best friend is 8 months pregnant, and something's wrong and nobody will tell us what's going on, and I find you here, doing absolutely nothing, you know you may as well be listening to your Ipod with a bag of cheetos?" Summer said mid rage-blackout, completely unaware that the doctor was checking her out.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch your name?" The doctor asked giving her a smile, Summer grimaced and answered.

"Right, well I am very sorry Summer that you do not think that the hospital is sufficient enough, the only thing I can tell you on the patient in room 209 is that her tests should be back within 10 minutes someone has gone to collect them, hence why I am manning the desk, and I think I am doing a great job" he winked at Summer, she laughed to herself and he started again, she was praying that someone would rescue her from this creep,

"But you know we could have dinner and we suggest ways to improve the hospital, so its up to standards of someone as beautiful as you"

"Okay, first thank you for telling me about Coop's doctor, but second eww - Yeh I already have a boyfriend and lets face it, you're no McDreamy? So get back to your cheetos and play lists, because I really am not interested She smiled sarcastically before walking away.

"You don't know what your missing" he shouted back to her as she re-entered Marissa's room.

Kirsten and Marissa both turned to look at Summer with hopeful eyes.

"Your doctor is just coming everything is going to be ok Coop" Summer said reassuringly.

"Marissa I had a scare when I was pregnant with Seth, at seven months they took me in and I thought that I would have to deliver there and then but it was ok. The Baby likes to remind you that its still in there, that's all" Kirsten rubbed the back of her hand and Marissa took a deep breath, Summer told her to think positive otherwise her aura changes colour, and after all the drama and stress she was going through she didn't need another accomplishment to the list.

"Yeh Baby Nicholai Summer Paris Cooper Atwood wanted to give you something to worry about"

"Summer I have told you before, I am not naming my child after the Hilton sisters," Summer was always trying to convince her to name the baby after a celebrity, the Paris and Nicky names had been going for about the last 4 weeks.

"Have you thought of any names yet?" Kirsten asked her, trying to take her mind off the problem at hand. Marissa smiled and rubbed her stomach and tried to breath through the shooting pain, luckily that time it only felt like a really sharp kick, not nearly as painful as the others.

"I remember when Theresa was pregnant that time she was staying with us, and I overheard the both of them talking about what they were going to call the baby they sounded so excited about it - are you both excited?" Marissa just nodded and looked down.

"Oh my god sweetie - that was completely inappropriate of me I didn't mean to I was jus-"

"Don't worry about it, it was an easy mistake. I know this isn't his first baby, but we can't find anything we agree on, we both know we don't want something ordinary but nothing to strange either, and Ryan wants to be surprised which means we have to plan for both"

"Coop it's a girl I'm telling you - I am like psychic about this stuff, I predicted that my cousin was going to have a boy and a girl - in the right order, and I guessed it Britney Spears was pregnant with boys and I was right those times, you can just tell. Or at least I can it's a gift, Cohen thinks it's a boy, he is so loosing $60 bucks. Summer smiled,

"I wish I had a sign, I feel like a bad mom because I don't. I mean my mom new with Caitlin and she didn"t even need to be told, when she first told me she was pregnant, she told me I was getting a sister, this was at like 2 months." Marissa sighed, wishing the baby would just tell her - in its own way.

"You don't always know, I didn't know with Seth but I knew with Sophie." Both of the teens looked up at her as if asking who Sophie was.

"You girls probably don't know this, Seth was only one, but When he was a year I fell pregnant again, and I gave birth to a girl still born at 5 months. But we have both gotten over it." Summer and Marissa both had tears in their eyes, why would someone take away a child from the two of the nicest people in the world.

"O Mrs Cohen I am so sorry, We didn't know," Summer tried to apologise

"It's ok Summer, don't worry" Kirsten nodded towards her as Marissa's doctor came in, all three of them hoping it was good news.

_Heres another one, I can guarantee that the next few chapters will have a few suprises! I have been writing all the time so I can get ahead, and I am really pleased with it! Again let me know what you think? Reviews let me know that people from far away are reading this! Thankyou so much I can't say how much I appreciate all of my reviewers xoxo_

_p.s sorry if times are wrong - like how far after graduation and when college starts and things? I don't know these things living in London but I am trying my best with the info from the episodes._


	12. Chapter 12

_Thanks for the review from the last chapter and the helpful points. The baby's sex will be revealled in this chapter, the majority vote sort of made me sure of my ideas. Enjoy: _

The room was still tense, it wasn't easy knowing that this mere doctor could change her and her baby's life.

"Thank god - she is in pain over here she needs meds!!" Summer barked orders at the doctor when she came in, when the pain passed Marissa let go of Summer's hand and turned to face her doctor.

"Hi Marissa, well I see she is giving you a bit of trouble today huh?" All of their heads shot up at once,

"She as in... you mean...?" Marissa asked as a huge smile appeared on her face, as did Kirsten and Summer.

"Oh my god you didn't want to know the sex, I am so sorry Marissa" Helena said apologetically

"I'm having a girl?" She asked tears coming down her face at full speed. The nurse nodded and Summer and Kirsten run over to Marissa for a group hug

"I'm having a girl! Me and Ryan are getting a daughter!! Oh my god Sum! I'm having a girl!!!" Summer nodded and hugged her best friend and Marissa kept crying happy tears,

"I am so sorry for letting the word slip,"

"Don't worry about it, I am so much happier for knowing! But Helena, What's the matter with her? Why have I been getting these really bad pains all day? Is it a premature labour?" Marissa asked, her hands kept going back to her stomach, all she could think about was that her and Ryan were having a baby GIRL!

"Marissa it is nothing to worry about, It is Braxton hicks contractions, you are lucky enough to get a preview of how painful the birth is going to be. You know it is labour when your waters break" A huge weight was lifted from all of their shoulders.

"Then may I ask doctor, why has she been kept in all this time, surely a nurse would have been able to tell us that is was Braxton Hicks" Kirsten queried the doctor as she looked at her clipboard.

"Well you see, your baby is actually breech Marissa, we can still try and turn her around, but if not then she will have to be born in the 8 months mark, via caesarean and not full term and natural. But we can prescribe you medicine to change the position so you can go full term. What we will do is keep you in overnight to monitor how well you will take the pills, and then we can let you go tomorrow at midday sometime." Marissa nodded, understanding the situation she had read about breech in her books so understood that it was nothing dire.

"Well once again I apologise for telling you she was a girl, but I hope you and Ryan will be happy. Now if you excuse me I need to go and check on a baby that I delivered this afternoon." She left the room with Thank-yous being said to her form all of the proud girls.

Soon after, It was established that Summer would stay with Marissa and then Kirsten would get hold of The Boys so Ryan could be with them by morning. Once they said goodbye to Kirsten and got Summer a bed. They both fell asleep with the words,

"Night Coop and Night Baby Girl Cooper-Atwood, Seth so owes me $60 bucks" with that Summer was asleep and Marissa was left thinking about her daughter, and all the name possibilities.

"Sandy can the car go any faster?" Ryan asked as he drummed his fingers against the leather interior arm rest in the front seat of the Range Rover. They had found their messages almost immediately after Kirsten called and were now just passing John Wayne Airport to get to Marissa at the hospital. Ryan had already been briefed that whatever the circumstance he had to be there for Marissa. Seth had said to him that he was the glue keeping her together and if he was to crack then it would be 10x worse for Marissa.

"All of their cells are off which must mean they are all in the hospital - which means Mom is looking after her dude" Seth said from the back seat. They had immediately left Palm Springs, Sandy was going to drive back in the morning to collect all of their things. Ryan just remained silent, he had a million thoughts running through his head. All that mattered was that Marissa was ok, and not panicking to much without him being there.

"Its ok son, we are nearly there" Ryan sighed against the seat of the car, praying that they could get to the hospital in half the time. They hadn't heard from anyone since Summer and Marissa phoned earlier that night before they went out and then the voice-mails from Kirsten.

Ryan kept running over things in his head - what if she had lost the baby - although he never showed it, he was upset when Theresa lost her baby. He kept thinking about the baby, and Marissa and how much his life has changed and how much it will change forever.

Seth and Sandy were talking animatedly, and he didn't even realise when the car pulled up at the hospital. He subconsciously thought that he was choosing to ignore it, because if something bad happen as soon as he got out of the car then he would have to face the music.

Seth tapped him on the shoulder and he sighed and opened the door, Sandy was going to park the car and then come and find them.

"It will be ok man - Marissa isn't about to give up and this baby is an Atwood and has some Chino in its blood ergo it's a fighter." Ryan smiled at him appreciatively.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Marissa Cooper? She's pregnant was bought in earlier today" Ryan asked desperately to a nearby nurse. She checked the computer. A frown etched on her face made the clueless boys become even more nervous.

"Aahh yes Miss Cooper" the nurse said rather unhelpfully

"Erm Yeh which room is she in?" Ryan asked impatiently

"I'm actually just on my way there now, I will show you, visiting times are over are you a relative?"

"Yeh I'm Ryan her boyfriend and the baby's father."

"Okay I will take you to her room, but you unfortunately can't stay the night she already has one guest in her room for now" Ryan nodded understandingly happy that Summer was taking care of her and she wasn't alone.

"Here it is, it isn't anything bad don't worry I can ask the doctor to talk with you both if you are concerned. But Marissa knows what's going on." She showed Ryan and Seth the door and then carried on walking to another part of the ward. Seth waited outside and Ryan opened the door to reveal Marissa and Summer. Marissa was reading a baby name book and Summer was leaning on another chair, asleep. He smiled when he saw Marissa and that nothing seemed to be wrong, his previous emotions of fear had disappeared.

"Thank God your ok." Ryan rushed straight over to her, catching her by surprise whilst kissing her forehead. She reached up and touched his arm whilst it was wrapped firmly around her, finally relaxing under his touch.

"What happened, is it, is the baby ok" he asked, although all of his fears and worries couldn't be stopped.

"Were ok now, much better now you're here" she leaned up slightly and he leaned down, and kissed her it was almost as powerful as the one from New Years 2003. After making out for a few minutes, both reassuring each other of how much they love each other.

"I love you" she said relived that he was finally there. I't didn't bother Marissa that he didn't say it back that time, all that mattered was that he was there and that their baby is healthy.

_Sorry that it has taken me so long to update - I have written and re-written so many times, I hope that people are pleased with the girl idea? If not please don't stop reading and I will even write a one-shot or ficlet RM where they have a baby boy! I hope that this is good enough and people aren't loosing interest? xoxo_


	13. Chapter 13

_Hi thanks for the reviews, I am really sorry if people wanted a girl, but you can't please everyone! The next few chapters are ready to be updated as soon as - It is my peace offering for going a few weeks without uploading! _

_Enjoy xoxo_

"Were you ok? I mean, with having to do this by yourself, I am so sorry that I wasn't here, I promised you that I would be there every step of the way, all that matters is that I am here for the baby, and I wasn't and I just felt like when Kirsten called me saying you were in the hospital , I knew when I heard that message something bad had happened. It was like Theresa all over again, and I know what it's like to loose a baby that you have already grown to love and I wouldn't want to wish it on you. I wouldn't want you to be here alone and having to go through it" He kissed the side of his head, and but Marissa had other things on her mind. It was more recently that she was thinking more about Theresa and Ryan, she knew how scared he was and how much he didn't want to go to Chino with her, She knew that he didn't want to be a father and that Theresa pushed him into it, she never thought that Ryan became attached to the baby, or Theresa for that matter. But it was a clear as day that Ryan obviously had feelings for each other, but that was because they grew up together, like her and Luke. But ever since Kirsten told her about the name thing she wondered if he really loved Theresa. Left because he wanted to be with her and not Marissa,

He had always said that he wanted to be there, but she never remembered him saying that he wanted to be with her, she knew subconsiencly she probably pushed him into it, she knew that he would never let her do this by herself would he? She thought that they both loved eachother, what she had been thinking about recently if it was only the baby he loved. Here it was, the obstacle in there relationship, that there communication skills couldn't overcome, she had been expecting it all along, she knew there always something standing in the way of her and Ryan.

Ryan always acted put out by the fact that Theresa was having his baby, what if he wasn't, what if he was genuinely excited that the person he loved was having a baby? If that is the case - Is he only doing the honourable thing with her? Does he really love her, or the baby? Which is he staying for? None of this sounded very Ryan, but nothing in her mind was clear at the moment. Theresa and that pregnancy had been in her head for the whole of hers, and it was the shadiest part of their relationship.

Ryan noticed that she hadn't moved and she was in deep thought, and he could tell that her moods were changing. He was now prone to Marissa's ever constant mood swings, and could read her like a book.

"Hey, a penny for you thoughts?" He asked her jokingly but instead all he got was an icy glare.

"Marissa is everything ok"He asked more concernedly

"Well you tell me, I never realised that me getting pregnant was the worst thing that has ever happened to you. Well hey if you want me to make it better, then I could take you away from your family and move to Chino like she did shall I because we clearly are not what you want." Marissa moved away from his arms and folded them across her chest, she looked over at Summer who was still sleeping soundly on the uncomfortable chair

"What is all this about? Just because I was apologising for not being here you go off on me - this is completely unfair."

"O you want to know about unfair, shall we take a trip down memory lane shall we? You slept with Theresa ending with a Baby, never said I love you when I said it when we were saying goodbye, when you finally got back you told me you were never excited for the baby and were really glad to come home."

"Where is all this coming from Marissa? We got over this remember"

"Well maybe I never had my peace with it, besides I was usually drunk that summer so maybe I wasn'thinking straight when we talked it through. When you found out about my pregnancy - all you wanted to do was make it work - and if you are doing the honourable thing of sticking by me because I'm knocked up then forget it Ryan. This is the exact same plot as Theresa I get pregnant and all of a sudden you are with the ex about to have a baby. I can't be in a relationship that is one-sided Ryan I can't love you and you only love the baby, this isn't going to work so I need you to be honest with me - Would you still be with Sadie if I had never told you I was pregnant? Are you having any doubts about this at all? Becuase leave it a few more weeks and it will all be too late." He paused for a minute to try and piece things together inside his head,it was true he was having doubts, but what normal person wouldn't they were still so young and her she was accusing him that he didnt love her, he did love her - that was undeniable but the problem was, he knew that the baby could make them fall out of love.

"Get out Ryan , I think your silence says it all" she shook her head as tears cascaded down her face

"But Marissa - this isn't like that you now how much I love you, you have never doubted it before so why now? Huh?"

"Well I don't want to hear it now ok, maybe when I'm not on pain medication and I have thought over the fact that you probably don't love me we can talk."

"This is totally ridiculous you know I love you and yeah I obviously felt for Theresa,and the baby Marissa, but not nearly as much as I care for our baby, we are having a family Marissa and you know how much I want this and this is just a stupid fight and you know it. I am not going to leave this hospital while you're here, I know that this mood swing will be over soon, so I will be outside and when you ready to talk, let me know" He looked at her once more before she turned her head and walked out of the room.

Once he was outside, he sat down in the orange plastic chair and sighed, he put his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths. This was just another one of Marissa's pregnancy side effects. Rubbing his head a little he tried to shut his eyes. Marissa wasn't even making sense to him, knowing that their fight would be over in about 20 minutes he decided to leave it, going back and trying to apologise now would only make things worse.

"Hey Man? That bad?" Seth asked cautiously as he was approaching Ryan. He was carrying to coffees in his hand, and as he took a seat next to Ryan he could tell that Ryan was angry not sad.

"Thanks, don't even ask" he took the coffee and tried to drink as much as the hot beverage would permit.

"Well I'm not going until Summer does, and I hate to wake her when she's sleeping, rage-blackouts and all. So my friend it looks like we are stuck here." Ryan knew that he should try and talk about it, but in all fairness he didn't know what he was meant to be talking about. Well apart form that nagging thought at the back of his mind, one that had been there for a while.

"Well she seems to think that this is another Theresa situation and that I'm not there for her" he rubbed his face and took a deep breath.

"I have been there for her since the day she told me - she is just being so shellfish, she hasn't even thought about what I am going to give up. College is going to be stressful enough and I am then going to have to come home to a newborn and her and then have to go out to work. So maybe I have been a bit nervous about becoming a dad but Seth if you were in my position you would be too" He sighed and slid further into his orange chair.

"Dude why don't you tell her this? If you tell her that you are scared then she can help you through it and I'm sure she's scared too"

" I know but, I guess she's right, I mean I love her so much, but maybe I don't want to be tied down this young. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have a baby with Marissa and to be there for her, but in 10 years time, I think we are getting to far over our heads, I mean seriously how are we going to cope with a baby? The thought of us living and being together before never scared me, but all I keep thinking about is college, that take a tonne of work, now add a baby and a girlfriend, rent, job and everything else in there, I have been thinking sometimes maybe I just want to do the college thing - on my own. I don't know, sometimes I think this and then others I can't wait you know but when me and Marissa argue, I think, why am I bothering, I can tell that somewhere down the line we will fall out and then it won't be just us who gets hurt, we will be breaking our child."

"Oh my god I didn't know," Seth was kind of shocked, he hadn't expected Ryan to say that .

"I'm not trying to say that I don't want to be with Marissa, I mean at first I was excited, and yeah I still am. and I'm sure that I still do love her, its when we were in the club tonight I realised that whatever happens, I will always have a kid to think about, and Marissa at home, and I'm not sure this is the right time for us, and I feel really guilty because it is her that this is happening to but, and I know that it is 4 months to late, but it has been on my mind recently, but maybe I don't want be a father yet"

"Oh my god" a small voice came from behind them Both of the brothers winced when they heard the voice, Seth's jaw dropped and Ryan's eyes widened. As Ryan took a breath to prepare himself for what was coming next. He knew whatever he said he couldn't erase what he just said. He felt as if he had just been hit by a car, and all of these different voices were in his head. He felt stuck, like he was glued to his chair, he knew what he said wouldn't be easy for Marissa to forgot,

"Ryan my water just broke" Marissa's voice was nervous and sad and Ryan was helpless, it was Seth to scramble and move first leaving Ryan in the hallway by himself.

_I hope people like the direction this story is moving in, review and let me know what you think please. I have edited the next 3 chapters and they are ready to be loaded up, so let me know when you want them. xoxo_


	14. Chapter 14

_Thanks for the amaze reviews from the last chapeter - I think we all no that i like to create a bit of suspense! and its so good to know that people are still reading - i wasnt to sure!_

_Hope you enjoy the latest installment _

"Oh my god, Ryan quick, get a doctor or something" Seth immediately stood up and raced over to the door where the voice came from. When Ryan turned around he noticed Marissa crouching over holding her stomach. Seth was at her side holding her hand and trying to lead her back into her hospital room. Marissa was crying silent tears and squeezing Seth's hand.

"Summer, SUMMER!" Summer woke up to find her best friend in pain and her boyfriend trying to help her

"Marissa just lie down it will be ok I promise! I will go and get some help, Sum stay with her, the baby is on its way." Summer nodded, still hazy from her sleep.

"It will be ok Coop I promise," Marissa just nodded and Summer was fussing over her,

"Coop where's Ryan" Summer asked, oblivious to the whole conversation outside. Marissa started panic then started to whimper when she felt a contraction and squeezed Summer's hand.

"He's gone Summer" That was all it took for Marissa to break down and for Summer to be at her side.

"What do you mean gone? O he is in for an ass whopping Coop - he can't miss the birth of his child!" Marissa shook her head and Summer looked at her confused, her breathing was heavy and the pain was etched all over her face.

"I heard...him saying to...Seth that he...didn't want to...be a Dad" Her whimpering was worsening as she tired to inform Summer of the conversation she just overheard.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry Coop, he probably didn't mean it."

"No he meant it," Marissa breathed through another contraction, Summer knew how much this would be affecting her and it didn't bare thinking about, the only other thing on their mind was the baby, and would it be ok being born weeks premature, Summer hoped so, as this day wasn't turning out to be the best for Marissa.

"Believe me Coop, it was probably heat of the moment, right now we need to worry about you not stupid Chino ok sweetie, Seth will be back soon with the doctor so it will be ok" Summer rubbed Marissa's hand as her tears of fear convulsed through her whole body.

Ryan was still sitting in that same orange chair outside Marissa's room. He was breathing in deeply trying to relax. He knew that Marissa had over heard him say that he wasn't ready to be a father, which in his eyes was bad, really bad, the timing was crappy and to top it of her water just broke, so like it or not, he and Marissa were about to become parents. He was ashamed that he couldn't go in and help her, ashamed that Seth was probably going to take his place at her bedside seeing as he was being so stupid. He saw Seth talking to Marissa's doctor, she had a panicked expression on her face and he could hear Marissa's screams and cries from her room. Now if ever would be the time for his Marissa Cooper saviour complex to kick start, she needed someone, the baby needed someone, and if he missed it he might not get a second chance.

The doctor ran with Seth straight passed Ryan into Marissa's room.

"Ok Marissa, looks like Baby want to come out now huh?" Marissa nodded frantically through the painful contraction.

"Well it looks like we are going to have to take you in for an emergency caesarean ok" she said as she was doing a quick sonogram of Marissa and seeing how far she was dilated.

"Now emergency caesareans at 8 months arent particularly dangerous on your baby, but you need to understand that the baby may have to be put to an incubator first, it depends on how it is when there born ok. We will have to find a doctor that can perform the procedure, now I am afraid that because the baby is so premature, the caesarean may not be easy, so we can take you in but I am afraid you may only have one person in the delivery room with you, at this time we can not say but it may prove too dangerous. I will send a nurse in to get you ready for labour, I am so sorry Marissa" the doctor rubbed her arm and went out of the room, passing the 2 boys on her way, she nodded to Seth and made her way over to the nurses station.

The door was left a jar and Ryan could see Marissa to Summer

"I can not believe you" Seth said as he went straight pass to be with Summer beside Marissa. When Marissa's tears started to calm down she saw Ryan through eh crack in the door. They locked eyes and he just stood frozen in his spot, Marissa shook her head, he never wanted to be a father in the first place but couldn't not do the honourable thing, there was always a way he would of gotten out of it in the end, but ditching her when she was in labour wouldn't of been the one she put her money on.

"Sum can you just get him to leave please? I don't want him here." Marissa looking away from him and Summer looked at her with sad eyes

"Don't you want to talk to him or anything?"

"I can't even look at him right now" As Summer went over to the door, Ryan stepped through and blocked it,

"Marissa wait"

"Just please go Ryan, if you leave now you don't have to be here when the baby is born and you don't need to be in our life, leaving now will make it easier on everyone" Her voice was filled with tears as she turned away form him, unable to look him in the face

"Guys, do you think Marissa and I could have a minute?" he comepletly ignored what she had said and carried on, even though it was hard to ignore something as painful as that from the person that you love. He shot Seth a pleading look and Seth took the hint.

"Come on Summer" Seth took Summer's hand and tried to drag her away from Marissa

"What Cohen? Are you defending him? I don't believe this?" She tried to struggle away from Seth and back to Marissa

"No but I think we should let them have their privacy, are you saying you want to be here when he breaks up with her?" Seth said it loud enough so Ryan could hear, and shut the door, leaving the complicated couple together in the small room.

"Seriously make this quick, I sort of have to give birth in a few minutes" She shifted uncomfortably and squeezed her hands together at a contraction

"Marissa, what you heard, I didn't mean it like that , I-"

"Look, I sort of already knew that this would happen, who was I kidding, you never wanted to stick around. My Mom was right she said that you would go and walk out on your baby, I loved you to much to take her seriously."

"You don't mean that - We can still make this work, I was just upset and angry is all. Let me be there with you in the delivery room. All of those promises I made, I'm not going to break them, I have never let you down before"

"I want Summer with me, I am not going to stop you from being in the hospital but I can't stand to even be around you right now" She breathed through another contraction and he reached over to take her hand but she batted it away. He looked down dejectedly as she cried. A Nurse knocked on the door and asked if Marissa was ready to be prepared for Labour. Marissa took one last look at Ryan as he left. Her chest racking with tears, a mixture of her nerves and how scared she was, knowing that their baby was coming and it might not be healthy was to much for her to take. After a while she was being wheeled down to the delivery room with Summer at her side, knowing that her and Ryan will never be the same again.

_Hope you like it - let me know when you want the next one - i am on a posting roll :) xoxo_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Thanks for the really great positive reviews - It makes me so happy to know that people are enjoying.** I know i have been on a roll recently but this is stopping, i realistically can not post now until Sunday so this is a special treat! _

_Here is this much anticapted chapter lol:p_

The sound in the delivery room was quiet, there wasn't much talking going on accept the silent chatter of the nurses and doctors. Marissa had silent tears running down her cheeks and although she had painkillers and everything to try and make it not hurt she still winced every now and again. Summer was doing a great job, she was coaxing her best friend and being there for her, holding her hand and talking her through the pain. Even if it was about what she was going to buy the baby first or that she was going to get Marissa some new collection Seven for all and man kind jeans for her post baby body, she was still being a great friend, and an excellent step sister.

"Just a little while longer Marissa, and you will have your baby" A smile broke out on Marissa's face as she thought about her baby.

"and here she is." The doctor said as and suddenly all you could hear was the tears of a newborn baby girl.

"Oh my god, Summer I'm a mommy" Both of the girls broke out into at into a batch of tears and the nurse checked the baby's hear rate and cleaned her up. She was wrapped in a soft pink blanket and bought straight over to Marissa

"Congratulations," the nurse said lovingly as she lowered the baby so that Marissa could hold her for the first time. She was choked as she looked at her small child. She had blue eyes and a button nose and was even lighter than a normal baby, but as the doctor said she had 10 fingers and 10 toes, that was the only way to describe her perfect.

Ryan punched the wall of the waiting room while Seth, Sandy, Kirsten, Julie and Neal were waiting for Marissa to give have the baby. Julie had been called by Sandy and Kirsten and was currently working on sending Ryan rays of hate .

"It should be me in there!" he said angrily as he slumped down on the chair

"Yeah It should" Julie said sarcastically, not that now was the time for sarcasm but anyway that would annoy Ryan was fine with her.

"Julie now isn't the time" Kirsten said warningly as she saw Ryan clench his fists

"I totally agree not when my daughter is giving birth to her baby" she extenuated 'her baby' to poke Ryan off again, she really knew how to push his buttons.

"Julie" Neal warned she rose her eyebrows and then stopped

They waited a little bit longer, the silence getting thicker with every minute that went past. Luckily Neal worked at that same hospital so they all knew the second anything went wrong they would know almost immediately,

10 minutes after the words exchanged between Julie and Ryan, a happy/tired looking Summer entered the room. They all anticipated her news good or bad but instead she remained silent. Marissa had told her she wasn't allowed to say anything about the birth before she spoke to Ryan, she believed that it was his job to spread the amazing news on their baby.

"Ryan she asked me to come and get you, she has just been moved back into the room that she was in. I am just going to fill in some paperwork while you two talk"

"How is she" Ryan asked hopefully

"Whatever you did undo it because you weren't there when she needed you the most" Summer walked away leaving the door open and Ryan got up and walked as fast as he could to the room Marissa was previously in. He past the same orange chair that made him miss the birth of his child although he had no-one to blame but himself. He walked past quickly through the hallways to Marissa's room, he wasn't sure how long ago she had even given birth or when she had been moved but all he could concentrate was getting into her room to make sure she was ok, even if he had some doubts earlier, she was still Marissa. When he finally met her door he knocked quietly and went straight through. He didn't know what he was expecting when he got there, he didn't know how she would be coping, how their baby was or where they stood in their relationship. But all of his fears disappeared when he walked in and saw Marissa, her face was tired yet happy, she had the happiest smile he had ever seen her wear. Soon enough his face mirrored her actions when he saw a pink bundle in Marissa's arms. He whispered a

"Hey" and started to move closer to her, he was about a foot away when she broke the silence.

"it's a girl" both of the proud parents beamed as he moved closer to her and kissed the top of her head and whispered a well done. She moved over on her bed and they both sat close to each other, admiring their newborn

"she's gorgeous" Ryan whispered as if he was too scared to talk to loud in front of her.

"Well she is a little bit early so the doctors said she needs to sleep in an incubator but it does mean we can hold her for a while before she has to go back in but considering everything she's more or less healthy."

"She is just so tiny" Ryan stroked the side of her face ever so gently as the baby was sleeping in Marissa's arms. She looked up at him and a tear left her eye.

"Do you want to hold her?" Ryan looked a bit worried about the whole thing

"What if I--"

"It comes as a natural talent trust me" she carefully placed their pink bundle in his hands and laid her head against his shoulder.

"Hey baby, I'm your daddy sweetheart and that's your mommy" He looked over to Marissa who just smiled at him,

"Just to let you know that we are going to love you so much ok" He choked back a tear the day already proving to much for him. The baby began to stir and she opened her eyes and looked straight at them both.

"Hi little one" Marissa said dazedly as she stroked her cheek.

"You know Ryan, she has your eyes."

"Thank you, not just for this but for everything, I bet she will be the second most gorgeous girl in the world next to her Mom that is, and I'm sorry"

"I don't think I can have this conversation now, can we just be with our baby before we decide on our relationship please?" She kept her eyes transfixed on their newborn, Ryan nodded and turned his attention back to his daughter, their daughter.

"How are you feeling" he turned his attention back to Marissa,

"A lot sore, I now have stitches that were are more painful than I remember form when i cracked my head open when I was 6, and I feel so tired but shes worth it."

"Your Mom's out there you know." Marissa sighed and rolled her eyes.

"She's probably here to try and convince me to give her up for adoption" Marissa said stroppily

"No Marissa, she's here because she loves you and wants to see you" he looked back at his daughter

"And you too sweetie". The tiny baby had her eyes open and was staring back at Ryan and Marissa.

"You can go and get them all if you want. That way she can meet her family before she has to sleep in her incubator, it has been a big day, being born and everything", Ryan carefully handed the baby back over to Marissa and kissed the both of them lightly on the head, As he reached the door he turned round to face the bed

"I love you, both of you" He walked out and shut the door and Marissa closed her eyes and let a tear fall down her cheek.

"What are we going to do sweetie?" she asked her oblivious baby whilst waiting for Ryan to return with their families.

Ryan walked happily back to the family room. He saw all of the adults still waiting for him or Summer. He wasn't sure where he had gone, probably to go and get Marissa's things or something. He checked his watch and it now said 8:37 in the morning, everyone must be so warn out especially Marissa, giving birth was no easy thing, and he was so thankful, for giving him his baby and for all of the other amazing things that she had done for him. He got to the room and he was sure that everybody would be able to read his mood, the proud smile on his face wouldn't be there if it was bad news.

He opened the door and everybody looked up at him. Waiting for him to say something. He just gave off a big grin,

"It's a girl" He stated and the tense air in the room immediately disappeared, replaced by tears of joy and congratulatory hugs from everyone. Sandy and Neal patting each other on the back and Kirsten running over and hugging him. Julie was crying but refused to go over to Ryan, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

"She's healthy for coming early, gorgeous, exactly like her Mom, ten toes and ten fingers and blue eyes and a button nose exactly like Marissa. She's perfect. You can all come and see her if you want"

"Well of course we want to see her" Ryan lead the way proudly to his baby girl, Sandy saying something like "Say goodbye to sleep Ryan" but Ryan was too excited about seeing his baby to even process his 'helpful' information. When they got to Marissa's door, Summer had rejoined them again with a new bag of things for the baby and Marissa. He knocked on the door quietly again before entering with the whole 'Cohen/Cooper/Roberts' clan. He went straight over to Marissa's side to be with her and the baby while the others filtered in slowly all of them cooing over the baby and congratulating the happy couple for a second time. The whole time, Julie was silent, she kept looking at Marissa and her newborn granddaughter. Mesmerised as her daughter has taken to motherhood in a mere hour or so.

"You have to let me meet my granddaughter now" she said brushing past her husband to meet Marissa. When she got over to Marissa's bedside she lent down and kissed her cheek and Marissa smiled, pleased that her Mom isn't causing a fuss.

"Mom, I would like you to meet your first born granddaughter" Marissa sat up a little and handed her baby over to her Mother while Julie tried her best to contain her tears. She handed the baby over to Julie and Julie rocked her in her arms, admiring the small bundle of joy.

"She's so tiny" Julie commented quietly

"You get that for being born a month early" Seth quipped but was silenced by Summer hitting him in the stomach

"She has your eyes Ryan" Marissa and Ryan both smiled appreciatively , Ryan tried to hold Marissa's hand but she resisted, his smile faltered a little bit and Summer noticed this, she also noticed Marissa completely ignoring any of Ryan's actions that were indicated to her and she also noticed them both ignoring the elephant in the room, much like they had before.

"As much as I love her, I think it is only fair that her other Grandma gets to hold her," Julie said friendly as Kirsten's eyes clouded over with tears. Julie slowly walked over around the bed to Kirsten to hand over the baby to the other elder women in her precious new life. As Julie gave the baby over to Kirsten, she began to shut her eyes and Kirsten enter 'Mom-mode' ad began to sway with the baby to lull her into a long and well deserved sleep.

"You never loose the position you're arm goes in when you hold a baby huh Kiki" Julie asked as she went back to stand beside Neal, she intertwined her fingers with his and he kissed the side of his head, Kirsten shook her head and Sandy and her admired the small sleeping baby in their arms. After a few more minutes of holding her for the first time she spoke up again

"Congratulations you guys she's wonderful," Kirsten spoke happily

"Shall we pass you back to Mommy and Daddy now sweetie?" Kirsten asked the blue eyed baby.

"Erm no, Auntie Sum suffered labour I think its fair that she gets next hold" Summer said jokingly, Kirsten nodded and she passed the baby over to Sum,

"Cohen get your wallet out, we need to buy her some presents, possibly with my winnings from the bet, Hello Miss Nicholai Summer Paris Cooper Atwood" Summer said to her, the tiny baby in her sleep grabbed hold of Summer's finger unknowingly and as soon as she did this, Summer ordered Seth to get her camera out of her purse. They all started taking pictures of them holding the baby, one of each of the grandparents, Ryan and Marissa together, the Core Four and 'Cosmo Kid' as Seth had quickly named the baby. A while later, a Nurse had suggested that the new family should have some time to themselves, which wasn't a bad idea it had been pretty rush rush since the moment Marissa had come to the hospital!

They all said their last good bye's to Marissa, Ryan and the new addition, and had set of, no doubt all of them would be back within the day with armfuls of gift and baby necessities

_I hope that you all liked the birth of Cosmo Kid - just to let anoyone know even though this revoloved around Marissa and Ryan's pregnancy this story is far from over - i enjoy writing them to much. I also get that she sounds like a wonder child being born early and not being ill - but some babies are and it just so happnes that teh Ryissa baby is - come on those 2 need some good luck! Leave a review to let me know what you think xoxo_


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks for the great reveiws they seriously mean so much**

**enjoy xoxo**

Ryan was walking around with the baby in his arms while Marissa just sat quietly in her bed.

"For someone not so long ago claiming they didn't want to be a father, you are acting is fantastic" Marissa said whilst looking at a name book, not lifting her eyes off of the 'O' page. Ryan knew that she had been under a lot of stress that day and that her hormones were everywhere, but considering they had just had a baby it seemed like a bit of an inappropriate time to bring the pseudo fight up.

"I thought you wanted to leave all of the fights and arguing in the past,?" He asked her to scared to look her in the eye, so instead keeping his face fixed on their small baby.

"Your right" she said disbelievingly, not really knowing where she and Ryan stood at all in the relationship.

"I just wanted to say you know, Well done Marissa, you know in labour, she's absoultoutly gorgeous, if I haven't said it before, like her Mom obviously" Marissa smile genuinely as she tried to conceal a yawn.

"Yeh but her eyes, those are all you" Ryan smiled down proudly as he walked round the bed to move next to Marissa. As she made room for the two of them, Ryan passed the baby back over to her.

"Hey baby" Marissa said in that hushed down tone. They were both aimlessly stroking her on trying to hold her fingers, they baby opened her eyes for another time that day and it bought tears to Marissa's eyes. Although it wasn't the first time she had done it, she thought her medicine was wearing off now, and she could not believe that after all this time she finally had her baby.

"What are we going to call her?" Ryan asked considerately

"Well what names do you like?" Ryan leant over to the bedside and picked up her baby name book. There was a page folded down on the 'O' section.

"You're liking the O names then?" He asked her curiously,

"Yeh I sort have always like those ones, I wanted to call Kaitlin Olive, I did until she was about one and my mom said that she will get confused."

"So you want to name our baby after the kid in Little Miss Sunshine?" Ryan said jokingly, Marissa sniggered,

"You don't want to be called Olive do you baby, Daddy is just being mean" she said in a mock child voice.

"No I was thinking more something like Ottilie? I know its strange but I really love it and I think that it will suit her" Marissa looked up at Ryan with hope in her eyes, Ryan was quiet for a while, thinking it over, the baby made a gurgle and Ryan had decided.

"Ottilie it is, I love it" Marissa's whole face brightened up

"You mean it" she asked excitedly

"Yeah of course! If you love it I love it, Ottilie Cooper-Atwood, it sounds perfect"

"Ottilie Atwood" Marissa said firmly,

"I mean you are her Dad after all" Marissa could tell that Ryan was becoming emotional over this.

"Thanks," he said gratefully,

"No problem" he leant in to kiss her again, but again got her cheek, but chose to ignore it, he had just had a baby with the women he loved, he wasn't going to make any unnecessary waves if he could help it.

"Look the nurses will come here soon, why don't you go home, get changed, I will change her name tag and have a sleep."

"Are you sure you want me to leave" Ryan asked,

"Well I think that we could all use a little hour or two to eat or something, I know that she is going to get hungry soon, I think, I don't know" Marissa said doubting herself. Ryan sensed that she was angry at him, well it was obvious so he decided to take the hint and he home for a little while, even though he didn't think he could be separated from the new baby that he didn't think he could love anymore

"Alright, but i am only going home for a little bit to shower then I am coming straight back" Marissa nodded and Ryan said goodbye to Ottilie.

"Bye bye baby, I love you and I will be back soon" he kissed the top of her head and handed her back to Marissa. He leant in to kiss Marissa and again he got her cheek.

"Ok so I will see you later then" Ryan asked her

"Yeah, well I can't go anywhere so" He smiled at the two again and walked out, both of the parents breathing a sigh of relief after.

"So Ottilie, Mommy is in a bit of a dilemma, she doesn't know whether she wants to be with your daddy or not sweetie, I know this seems pretty bad at the moment, but Mommy promises that it will get so much better ok my beautiful, and just know me and your dad love you very much." She kissed the tired babies nose and just sat in the quiet, everything in her life had given her so much more to think about.

**I am not sure on this ending, I hope the next chapters will make up for it, and the name was my sisters choice I asked her to pick a random name and that was what came of it. This isnt my best work, I feel so ill today but I promised a post :) hope its not too awful xoxo**


	17. Chapter 17

_THANKS AGAIN SOOOOOO MUCH TO ALL OF MY REVIEWERS - YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE MY LOVERLYS _

_ENJOY THIS CHAPTER - HOPE ITS OK XOXO_

Kirsten and Sandy had just got off the phone with the Nana telling her the exciting news when they saw Ryan walk blankly through the kitchen into the pool house. Kirsten nudged Sandy, telling him that he should go talk to him, when Sandy got to the pool house he saw Ryan getting out all of the things that he and Marissa had prepared for their baby, everything form the odd bit of pink clothing, blankets, albums, pacifiers, diaper bags and all putting into a very big duffel bag for Marissa. 

"Look who it is, the new father, how are you kid, well I say kid, your not anymore" Sandy said happily, obviously nothing could ruin hischipper mood. 

"Good, exhausted but good" 

"Well, you and Marissa are extremely lucky, she's absolutely gorgeous" 

"Yeah" Ryan said distractedly, trying to find everything they had bought in the pregnancy. Sandy could sense that something was on his mind and he didn't want to push it, but if there was one thing he knew about Ryan and Marissa, it was if they didn't talk, then it would push them both over the edge,. 

"You seemed a little tense in the waiting room earlier" Sandy said carefully, 

"Yeh" 

"Am I only going to get one word answers Ryan?" 

"Now really isn't the time Sandy, Marissa I think hates me which really isn't a good time seeing as she has just had my baby and I love her more than anything in the world and really love Marissa and I'm scared that if I don't love her then I am going to lose her, and then I don;' know what I would do without her in my life" He was still moving, checking all of the cupboards and packing things for Marissa also. 

"Umm" 

"Look, there isn't anything that you can say, I just have to fix this by myself, Can I borrow the car, I need to go to South Coast Plaza, I want to buy the baby some more things, and I know I said that I was going to work today but I really want to be at the hospital, so If I could maybe have a few days off I will make the time up before I go up to LA" 

"Yeah that's fine, Ryan and Marissa had just had your baby, go and enjoy her, they get so big before you know it" Ryan walked out of the pool house back up to the main house, and kissed Kirsten on the cheek. 

"Come back to the hospital again later, Marissa and I want to tell you her name together". Kirsten nodded at his sudden departure and turned to Sandy who was dragging behind, he shrugged and Kirsten got back to her phone call, of course everything would be complicated, it was Ryan and Marissa. 

Marissa was just staring at her daughter, still amazed that her and Ryan could make something that beautiful, she knew that a nurse would be visiting soon for rounds, maybe even letting Marissa feed her for the first time, and they could get a proper name tag for her, instead of 'Baby Girl Cooper Atwood', and she was hoping that later when Summer came back, they could change her into a proper outfit, although it may be a little small for her. But at the rate baby's grow nowadays, she would fill it out in no time at all. 

"Come in" Marissa answered to the knock at the door 

"So I hear I'm an Auntie then?" Marissa head came up fast to see Kaitlin standing at the door with a big bouquet of pink lilies and a bag of gifts 

"Kaity" Marissa said excitedly, Kaitlin immediately rushed over to Marissa and hugged her so tight but minding the baby. 

"Congratulations Marissa! I am so happy for you!" Kaitlin gently traced the baby's face with her finger. 

"She's gorgeous, can I hold" Marissa nodded and carefully handed the baby over to Kaitlin, Kaitlin 'awwed' and smiled down at her new neice 

"What's her name?" 

"Ottilie Atwood." Marissa said proudly, Kaitlin awwwed and coooed over her new niece 

"That is so cute! She's has a gorgeous name to match what will be gorgeous looks" 

"What do you mean will be - she's gorgeous now aren't you my darling?" 

"No offence sis, she kind of looks a little squished," Kaitlin said to her elder sister, Marissa only raised her eyebrows at her daring her to go on 

"Wait, until you have kids, and I say that they are all squished! that's if you can make it through labour - let me tell you it's a little bit hard" 

"Labours a bit overrated for me - I am so adopting" 

"Yeh I will see it when I believe it" Kaitlin feigned offence and they both laughed. 

"So you are like a Mom now," 

"Yeh that generally happens when you give birth" Marissa said sarcastically as shelaydown on the bed, closing her eyes for a second. 

"No I mean, what are you going to do now? Mom said something about going to live with Ryan, although she didn't sound to pleased about it" 

"Well we were going to live in LA together so he could be there for school but now.." Marissa sighed and ran her hands over her tired face 

"Now I'm not so sure" 

"What do you mean? Won't Ryan be like crushed" 

"I'm not doing this to upset him, I am doing this for him," Marissa said to her younger sister trying to getting all of her worries off of her chest. 

"Yeh, I don't get it? You are like in love with Ryan" 

"He doesn't love me back, at least that's what I think, its really hard to judge, I don't know anymore" Kaitlin noticed her sister beginning to cry, she got closer and handed back the baby . 

"Hey don't let Ottilie see her Mommy cry" Marissa smiled through her tears and put Ottilie in her crib by the side of Marissa's bed. 

"It's just so complicated now, I know I am not what he wants Kaitlin, and I don't know if I can be with him knowing that, I love him so much, him and Ottilie are my whole world, but I don't want to see him fail in school and get dragged under by the responsibility of us at home, it will drag him down and separate us I know it, and he has tried to so hard to no be him old family, tried so hard at harbour and he wants so much from college, by having us around isn't going to get him anything," Marissa dabbed her eyes with the tissue next to her 

"Hey sweetie, please don't cry, I know your all emotional and stuff but I'm not able to handle this, I am bitchy and sarcastic, not comforting and emotional," They both laughed a little, 

"That's true" Kaitlin jokily shoved her sister, 

"Well what would you do otherwise Riss?" Marissa shrugged 

"You can't tell anyone, because I haven't yet and the time I found out it wasn't even an option, but a week ago, I got a call from Ford Models, in New York, apparently I had been head hunted because I had done that maternity shoots" 

"Ford Models? Are you serious? That's so great Riss" Marissa nodded and carried on 

"Yeah it is and I am so happy with the offer, but I would have to relocate, I can't commute because I am not famous or anything but they said if I do decide to take this, I would be big and they want to be the first who get to sign me" 

"Your not seriously going to turn this down are you? This is the best and maybe only offer you are ever going to get, you are beautiful Maris, and people would clearly pay money for your face" Kaitlin said trying to convince her to do it 

"Kaitlin I think you are missing something," 

"What could I possibly be missing here, look you modelled when you were younger and you did it recently, so I see no problem at all" 

"Not even the fact that I have just had a baby - with Ryan?" 

"Marissa, Ryan loves you, he would never stop you from doing anything and you know it" 

"But I am hardly about to go and say 'hey Ryan. I know that you really want to go to UCLA and stay in California but hers the thing, I sort of am going to New York and I'm going to take your baby, so yeh that's it' - as I said things are complicated." Kaitlin nodded in agreement and Marissa sighed. They were both thinking over the recent information when Ottilie started to cry, it had been the first time since she was born that she had really cried, it started off quiet so Marissa leant over to 'ssh' her but as she did it got louder and louder, until the point where the baby was getting red and Marissa didn't know what to do. 

"Marissa make it stop, I kind of have a hang over," 

"2 things, hang over? Your like 14 and I don't know how, I'm new at this" Marissa said panic stricken as she begin to sway whilst holding the baby in her arms, 

"heyyy bubba, come-on stop crying for Mommy," at each word the baby's tears were getting louder and they wouldn't subside. After 10 minutes, Kaitlin offered to go and get a nurse, but Marissa said she wanted to do it by herself, after 20 minutes Kaitlin had her ipod earphones in and Marissa had tried everything that she could think of, burping, and winding and checking for a dirty diaper even though she hadn't actually eaten yet. She was still swaying her and singing lightly when Ryan finally came into the room, holding many bags of presents and flowers, balloons and Marissa's bag from the pool house. 

"Oh thanks god, she won't stop" Marissa said helplessly as she walked over to Ryan's side, past a now sleeping Kaitlin with her ipod earphones playing loudly, She continued to bounce as she made her way to him and Ryan smiled, never did he think he would see Marissa take so quickly to motherhood, 

"Have you-" 

"I have done everything, I think she hates me, now I know how my Mom felt" 

"No she doesn't it just takes some getting used to, here let me try" Marissa passed the baby over to Ryan carefully balancing her head, they were both so so so new at this it would be a while before they could do anything confidently, 

"Hey Ottilie, don't cry, not that Mommy and Daddy are here," he slowly swayed with the baby in her arms and within seconds all the crying stopped, Marissa looked at Ryan like he was a saint and Ryan smiled proudly. 

"I think she just wanted her Daddy," 

"She doesn't ever have to worry about me not being there ever again, I promise kiddo, I'm not going anywhere" Marissa's eyes started to cloud over but she blinked it away. This now making her pseudo decision that much harder to cope with, now what was she meant to do? . 

"Riss, Riss Marissa? Can you hear me" Marissa shook her head out of her day dream and smiled, 

"I said I bought you a change clothes and Ottilie some stuff and then I stopped off back at the pool house so I could pick up some things that you got from your baby shower, and I picked up that Chanel bag thing that you packed the day we got it so you can use any of that stuff in there for her" Marissa nodded and walked over to her clothes. 

"I think I just need a shower so bad right now," she picked up her juicy sweat suit form the top of the bag and all of the toiletries Ryan had packed whilst he carried on swaying with his baby girl and talking to her, 

"hey Riss, what's your sister doing here?" 

"She's here to see Ottilie obviously, but I wouldn't wake her if I were you, she was complaining of a hangover, and she is more like my Mom with like everything, so yeah, wake her and it will be hell, I will be back soon ok," Marissa shut the door and Ryan sat in the chair. 

"Looks like its just me and you kiddo" Ryan said to his baby as he kissed her nose, finally enjoying some quiet, he sighed, everything was turning out pretty perfect. 

_Hope you like this chapter my loyal reviewers - let me know your thoughts! Happy Easter xoxo_


	18. Chapter 18

_This may be a suprise or be completely predictable, I thought it was a good plot for this story. _

_I hope everyone had a happy easter and thanks for the reviews from the last chapter. _

It had been three months since Ottilie made her appearance into the world. She lighted up both Ryan and Marissa's lives, well more Ryan's, Marissa had been struggling a bit, or quite a lot since she was born. The baby had to stay in the hospital for a month after she was born, and when her and Marissa were allowed to be realised, that had been the first of many arguments for Ryan and Marissa. Instead of sticking to the plan and both of them moving to LA, things had gotten side tracked. Marissa had decided that she didn't know where she stood in her relationship with Ryan and was scared to make the small move without having any help. So Marissa packed up their things and she and the baby moved in with Julie, she had also done this when Ryan was out in LA one day so he couldn't stop her. Everything between the two was really tense, too tense. The always cracked under the pressure of their relationship, and this was just them cracking. It wasn't fair on either of them or Ottile

Ryan had gotten over his initial anger of not living with his baby, knowing that Marissa would eventually come around, or so he desperatley hoped. So he commuted to UCLA everyday so he could still live at home and see Ottilie whenever he wanted, and then take her out whenever he wasn't swamped with work. His and Marissa's relationship had been a different story.

She had argued at him at times, when he would just blank it out and ignore her, too tired to fight back. This was more when Ottilie was in the hospital. She loved her baby of course, but when she had moved in with Julie, it had started. The bad luck of everything, was Marissa had developed, post natal depression, most of the symptoms were there, she had been extremely tearful and irritable, she couldn't concentrate or sleep much, she always wanted to be alone and was suffering from headaches. Julie had been first to notice and when she had told Ryan, he ignored it. Marissa wanted nothing to do with Ryan, when he would come over she would sit downstairs refusing to come up and even tend to the baby while he was there, she had blamed him over and over for her being so unhappy. Then a time later, Julie had forced her to get some help, the only medicated Marissa to the point where she was even worse than before. After a few weeks, they had all seemed to witness her improvements. Or what they thought were improvements, some days she would be fine and happy, but still wouldn't be near the baby and others she might lock herself in her room leaving Ottilie to cry. it wasn't her being mean unfortunately, it was the side effects of the medication.

By the beginning of November, when Marissa, was slowly getting more like her old self, although not so much with the baby, if someone else was there to do her job then they would do it. She often gave Julie much of her responsibility, calling out for her in the middle of the night when Ottilie needed her diaper changed. It was painful for Ryan to watch, they had been so happy when she was pregnant, making plans for when the baby was born, and now it was like she was a shell of her former self. Ryan often said he wouldn't surprise him if she was drinking again, but had gotten a hard slap when Marissa had finally heard him make such allegations. Although she didn't deny it to be true. Marissa was missing out on her daughter, she was getting bigger even though she was still small. Doing things that daily amaze Ryan and fill his world with love, and Marissa was choosing to lock herself in her room with the blinds shut all day trying to sleep it off. Ryan knew now their relationship was ruined, they had tried for the sake of their daughter, and it had driven Marissa back to the therapists office. Marissa was maybe living in denial but Ryan couldn't be any more serious, he and Marissa were finished.

It was now 8:30 at night and Ryan had just driven all the way home from LA, again, to see his baby. When he got there most days, she would quickly look at him out of her window secretly praying that he would come and rescue her from herself. She knew she was the cause of all of their problems, and them not being together only bought her more issues. She would just look at him as he walked happily even though he was exhausted to come and see his baby. He looked up to see if she was at her window again today, a little surprised to see that she wasn't, shrugging it off as sleeping through the mental alarm 'Ryan's here - time to shout at him' that always rings when he gets there. He walked happily up to the door, and knocked excitedly waiting for someone to let him in, It was times like these that he often thought he should have a key to get in, save everyone the trouble of walking through the mansion to open the door to him. When Mima got to the door and mumbled something in what Ryan assumed to be Spanish or something, he passed her and into the kitchen to see who was around. Instead he saw Julie crying on Neal's shoulder, Ryan quickly left it alone and walked up to his daughters room, taking two steps at a time up the grand marble staircase. He knocked cautiously wondering if today was the day that Marissa wanted to bond with her daughter. Letting himself in slightly disappointed that his daughter was sitting all alone in the darkness.

"Hey my darling, don't cry now, Daddy's here" he picked Ottilie out of her crib and held her closely so she could listen to his heartbeat. The nurses had told him that is was a natural soothing technique was to hold the baby closely so they can hear their parents heartbeat. The baby immediately stopped crying, and he smiled proudly knowing that he was the reason for that. He then shifted her into a carry position , so he could take a walk around to see if he could find Marissa. After debating with the thought, finally deciding against it, she would most likely shout at him and he was too tired to get into another argument with the mother of his child. It wasn't like he didn't love her, because he did so much, she and Ottilie were the only things that mattered to him. He would die for them if he had to. But she wasn't his Marissa, it was like she was a different person. She wasn't warm, caring, and loving like she always had been around him. She was mostly Sullen, Angry and tearful, a shadow of the girl that he loves.

"Hi Ryan" The gruff voice of Neal Roberts startled Ryan a little but nevertheless he walked forward and shook his hand.

"Look why don't you come downstairs for a while?" Ryan raised his eyebrows sceptically, Dr Roberts had never hated him, he was just protective of his step daughter, which Ryan didn't think as unfair, in fact he now respects all the fathers of the girls he has dated in a different light since being one himself. Ryan followed the man back through the mansion, with his daughter in his arms. He then followed him into the kitchen where Julie was seated dabbing at her eyes, however as soon as they made eye contact she broke down again.

"Julie, is everything ok?" Ryan asked the elder women, they had never had the best relationship, but she was still Marissa's mom and Ottilie's grandmother. The redhead shook her head, and Kaitlin came in to hug her mother.

"I think there is something that you should know Ryan" Julie swallowed thickly and rubbed her face, not knowing how what she was about to say to put it into words.

"Today we went into Marissa's room because Ottilie was crying and she wasn't there, um again" the first thought that Ryan could think when Julie said that to him was 'has she hurt herself?' he had never really stopped worrying or caring for her

"We found 3 letters Ryan, one for us, one for you and the other for Ottilie for when she is older. She's left Ryan, and from what it says here, I don't think she is coming back" Ryan's whole face paled, he felt sick, Marissa had just gone, that was it, she had walked out on him and their daughter. Ryan's face was still and composed, even though inside his heart was breaking, his baby would never have a Mom, he would never have her back, she didn't want them anymore. Julie studied Ryan's face, she felt like the worlds worst person for having to tell him that she had left and wasn't coming back. He had shut down, she had stepped closer to him and hugged him as hard as she could, she had broke down into more tears and Ryan was still staring into space.

"She can't have gone, what about...what about Ottilie?" Ryan asked pointlessly, knowing that this wasn't some stupid joke, knowing that she had really abounded them

"I am so sorry Ryan" Ryan looked down at his Ottilie in is arms, she was so helpless, her features that he thought were the image of Marissa, she would be the only thing that could connect them now. Thought of Ryan's own mother when she had waved goodbye to him and left him at the Cohen's all that time ago, at least he could remember him Mom, Ottilie would never ever know her, they might meet on a street one day, and be convinced that the other was a stranger.

"Ryan...Ryan" Julie said a little louder, he quickly snapped out of his daze to look at her.

"Do you want me to take the baby back upstairs for you" Julie offered holding her arms out trying to be helpful.

"No, erm, Look Marissa was the one keeping Ottilie with you so now if you don't mind..."

"She belongs with her Dad Ryan, you are a fantastic parent" Julie kissed Ottilie's forehead with teary eyes. Ryan nodded at her, silently thanking her. He also shook Dr. Roberts hand and walked slowly back up the stairs, to pack her bag. It took Ryan and hour to pack up all of her things, he carefully placed everything into bags that he might need, he had a crib and stroller a the Cohen house for when she would come and stay with him, he looked at a picture of Ryan, Marissa and Ottilie on the day she was born, he could remember Summer taking it. He shed silent tear that fell down his face and put the baby's coat on. Julie and Neal had put everything into the car for him already so it there wasn't much he had to carry. He strapped Ottilie safely into her carry chair and walked her outside.

"You know that she will be at the Cohen's, you can come and visit her as much as you like,as much as we never got on in the past I would never deny you that" Julie hugged Ryan sincerely as she broke down into new tears

"Well she is my first born granddaughter, I think I can make some windows in my schedule" they both laughed slightly as he got into the car himself.

"Thanks for everything Julie, Come over at the weekend for dinner with us and the Cohen's or something." Julie nodded and Ryan stared up the car. As he drove out of the estate he looked at Ottilie was awake and looking out from her car chair at the dark night sky and passing street lamps.

"Looks like its just you and me now kiddo" He wiped another stray tear and drove up the drive to the Cohen's. Wondering how he was ever going to cope by himself.

_I hope that everyone likes it, I am sort of taking a different approach to the ending of this story. As sad as it is to say, I never intended this story to be more that 10 chapters, so for it to be nearing 20 is a huge achievement. So the next 2 chapters will be the last of Forever Young. But I can safely say there will be a sequel amongst me posting more stories and one-shots. Oncre again, A huge Thank-you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has left fantastic reviews, it really amazes me that people actually like what I write. xoxo_


	19. Chapter 19

_here it is - the last but one! This is sort of my last transition chapter before the last one of Forever Young _

_And a massive massive huge gargantuan thankyou to all that have reviewed the last chapter, and throughout the story _

_It would be no where without them: _

Marissa landed in the bitter weather of New York. It was cold and rainy and she had no clue where anything was. She had phoned her aunt already, letting her know that she would be coming to stay for a while. A good thing for Marissa is that her Aunt Joanne was long gone from the Newport scene. Being Jimmy's younger sister, that never quite lived up to the fantastic big brother no matter what she did, she moved to New York as soon as she graduated. Obviously marrying rich and living a life of luxury. Marissa's had only met the women a few times, but she always sent Marissa a birthday card with 100 in it, so as a kid she was always one of her favourite aunts. Marissa also knew that she would never tell anyone that she was staying with her, mainly because she hated Julie and had long ago fallen out with Jimmy, so this was kind of the perfect plan.

Except her plan wasn't perfect, she felt even more depressed that when she was at home, she felt tired still and although being a Mom had been tough, nobody knew that Marissa just went and sat with the sleeping baby nearly every night, she just couldn't handle it when she was awake, it made Marissa feel useless not being able to do anything. She cried practically the whole way to New York, the child next to her giving her strange looks and blaring the ipod especially loud to block out Marissa's whimpers. She thought finally going would get rid of all her fears and confusion and stress, but instead it made it ten times worse. When she was hastily packing her suitcase while her Mom was at the hairdressers that morning, she didn't give any though to how much she would miss Ottilie. It was like the old saying, 'you don't know what you've got til it's gone' and now that she wasn't with Ottilie, there was that sickening feeling all the time. She knew that she would grow up to be happy with Ryan and she would have the best dad in the world, and possibly have a new Mom, to replace the shambles that Marissa is. That was what hurt Marissa possibly even more that she already was.

Marissa grabbed her pink suitcase as it came from the taxi and made it up a few steps to the shelter of the apartment block. She had asked the man on the desk for directions to her Aunt's apartment and he had instructed her to take the elevator up to the top floor. Marissa knocked tentatively on the door and a maid much like Mima opened the door.

"Um Hey I am looking for Joanne Dawson"

"Marissa Darling!!" Marissa entered the house and her aunt walked from a room and air kissed Marissa on both cheeks, she was like her Mom but with possibly a bit more botox.

"Oh my god, Aunt Joanne"

"Let me look at you, very thin and beautiful, you definitely get that from my side" Marissa smiled politely, everyone said she was always the exact mix of her Mom and her Dad, much like Ottilie was with her and Ryan.

"Stop thinking about them - your gone now" Marissa silently cursed herself.

"Come in my dear, I have had the maid set up a bedroom for you, now tell me, what brings you to New York?"

"Well it's kind of complicated," Marissa said, hoping to dodge the details altogether,

"Come over to the den, can I get you something to drink, lemonade, juice, vodka?" Marissa wondered is she even knew how old she was.

"Um no I'm good thanks" Her aunt eyed her strangely, silently asking for the details.

"Well then, I basically got a call from Ford models a few months ago, they had seen me model and they wanted me on their agency books, but the only way I could do that if I moved out here." Her aunt smiled proudly,

"A niece at Ford, how delightful" She spoke in a tone that was very New York, obviously hoping to erase the California accent.

"Well, there was actually something else to" Marissa opened her Louis Vuitton bag and got out a picture of Her Ryan and Marissa.

"2 months ago, I actually had a baby, that's her there, she's 2 months and her names Ottilie" She showed her aunt the family photo, and her aunt looked at her for more explanations.

"A Baby, I had no idea, I didn't even know that you were even married" Marissa laughed sardonically, where had that time gone when she wished that she and Ryan would get married,

"Actually were weren't married, that's my boyfriend, I mean, that was my boyfriend Ryan, her Dad, and when she was born, it created lots of trouble for us, I mean we always had trouble, it kind of followed us around, but we loved each other and we always found our way back to each other in the end." her aunt nodded and moved closer to her to wrap and arm round her shoulder.

"Anyways instead of moving with Ryan, I stayed in Newport, I was scared that one day he would just end it, suddenly doesn't love the woman who carried his child. I was never good enough for him. Since I moved in with my Mom, we argued all the time, and then I got ill,"

"Oh my god Marissa"

"I actually got post natal depression, it was too much, I wasn't good enough for my little girl, or for Ryan and I love them both so much but I wasn't any good when I was at home. I didn't want Ottilie to grow up with me as a terrible mother, I would rather not do the job at all" Marissa broke down into tears and her aunt hugged her until she stopped, she didn't know why everyone in her family hated her, Marissa thought she was fine.

"What did Ryan say when you left sweetie?" Marissa whimpered trying to get her words out

"I didn't...speak to him in..person"

"Oh sweetie, I know that this is the hardest thing to do in the world, I mean I just left Newport, but I didn't leave behind a baby, I know from experience that if you don't phone him it will drive you crazy for months and months, I just run away too remember, and not phoning the one I loved drove me crazy for so long. "

"I don't know if I could even talk to him on the phone. I know that he hates me right about now"

"Yeh he probably does" Marissa turned to face her aunt

"But I bet he loves you to, and you need to talk to him for yourself, make him know your reasons," Marissa sighed and thought about her options,

"ok, they deserve a phone call at least." When Marissa finally agreed with her aunt, the maid took her things, and showed her her new room, it was big and had a four poster bed with a magnificent view of New York, but when you had grown up in Newport, big rooms and views aren't as thrilling anymore.

As she sat down on the soft bed and sighed loudly, she was past the point of crying. Crying wouldn't get her anywhere now, she had made her bed and now she had to lie in it, however painful it may be. She looked at her picture of the three of them in the hospital and smiled longingly at their oblivious happiness, knowing that she left it because she couldn't handle it, made her embarrassed and that she had let down Ryan and Ottilie. She picked up her phone, her hands shaking whilst doing so, she wiped some tears out of her eyes and put on her brave face. Even though Ryan couldn't see her, he had that power over her. She scrolled down her contacts to get to Ryan, that still had 3 x's by his name. She pressed the call button and then, her heart was pounding out of her chest and she felt like she was going to be sick, she had plucked up the courage to speak to Ryan, for what could potentially be the last time of a long time. Depending on how angry he was.

"Maybe he wont be mad" Marissa though aloud whilst she was being connected, and then laughed at herself for being so immature. Everyone had left Ryan when the going got tough, he was just another to the extremely long list. The dial tone made Marissa feel sick, she hadn't a clue what she was going to say to him when he finally picked up, if he picked up. It was 2:31 on her clock on her phone, so Ryan would hopefully be with Ottilie now, God she hoped he was with Ottilie now.

_Im getting a little sad that I only have one last post left - when I was writing it i felt a little emotional too!_

_Hope you enjoyed the penultimate! xoxo_


	20. Chapter 20

Thanks for all the reviews - all throughout the story

i am so sad that is has come to an end, but don't worry

THERE IS A SEQUEL.

Ryan rolled over in his bed in the pool house, It had taken a while for Ottilie to settle, which after the long day that Ryan had felt like it took a long while for Ottilie to settle. He had a bed set up for her already, but nothing he did could get her to go to sleep. Kirsten and Sandy had offered to help, but Ryan had refused, which may seem like a stupid idea but if he was going to do this by himself, he was going to do this all by himself. Even if it meant getting no sleep that night, he eventually decided on brooding alone in the pool house, while Ottilie lay with pillows surrounding her on the bed next to him she was holding one of Ryan's fingers and was kicking her arms and legs. Ryan thought of his poor baby, this would no doubt be the worst day of her life so far, and possibly even when she gets older. The serenity on the calm and quiet was interrupted by Ryan's cell phone ringing, assuming that it was Seth, he didn't bother looking at the caller id, however a time later, he wished that he had.

"hello" Ryan asked tiredly into the phone, still looking at his baby girl, he got no reply, he really wasn't in the mood to be pissed around by Seth.

"Hello, Seth for gods sake what do you want?" Marissa could sense that he was heart broken, even if he didn't love her anymore.

"Seth, if you don't speak now I am hanging up and not getting you a chrismukkah gift" Marissa tensed up, how was she even supposed to speak to him.

"5, 4, 3-"

"No please don't hang up Ryan" Marissa squeaked nervously. Ryan slumped against his pillows and rubbed his temples.

"Marissa,"

"Hey"

"Don't even" Ryan said angrily, how dare she think that he was laid back about this.

"ok, then, look I just called to say I'm sorry" tears racked her voice, but for once Ryan didn't care,

"That's very big of you considering you left a note for me and your daughter Marissa, the one that is going to grow up without a Mom,"

"It was never meant to be this way Ryan, It just happened, were not any good for each other, I don't want Ottilie to have to see her parents argue like we both did as kids"

"Marissa its not as easy as that, you just left, how could you do that to her, how could you do that to me" Ryan could hear Marissa crying into the phone, for once in his life, he wasn't feeling guilty that he had caused her tears.

"I had to go Ryan, I know that you hate me,"

"Yeah, your right I do hate you,"

"You don't mean that Ryan, please, if you came out to New York we could start again." Marissa pleaded with him.

"No, for one, I would never give up my home and my family and two, what do you suggest I do with our daughter Marissa. Huh? I for sure as hell would never run away from her, never leave her!!"

"DON'T TRY AND MAKE ME FEEL EVEN MORE GUILTY RYAN!" Marissa shouted at him and punched a pillow

"Marissa, grow up, you can't abandon kids, she needs me - but at least she wont have a crazy pill popping alcoholic mother and may have a shot of actually growing up normal" Marissa tears came faster, at every nasty word he said against her.

"Please Ryan, don't let us end like this,"

"It's too late Marissa,"

"I left so I could be good enough for both of you, I will come back and be the Mom that I know I can be to her, please I know it seems like a lot but-"

"You know what Marissa, don't even bother coming back, I don't want to hear your excuses now and I am sure that I wont want to hear you excuses later"

"So you're saying that this is it, after everything we have been through together" Ryan took a deep breath

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying"

"So this is the end then?" Marissa felt sick, she wanted to die, knowing that Ryan never wanted to see her again.

"Marissa, I don't know how you expect me to look past this, I think its for the best that your not going to come and go,"

"But-"

"We can't do this anymore Riss," Marissa's sobs racked her chest and it made Ryan's tighten.

"Just so you know Ryan, I did it because I love you, and hopefully one day you will realise that, remind Ottilie everyday that I love her for me...and I love you too"

"Goodbye Marissa" Ryan shut the top of his phone down and closed his eyes, and on the other side of the country Marissa did the same. Ryan picked up Ottilie and held her close, trying not to think about what he had just done.

Marissa looked at the clock again on her phone, 2:51, it was that time, that they closed that chapters of their lives together. It was that time, that their worlds had come tumbling down. At 2:52, it was when they both put up strong, emotionless walls that only the other could break.

This is the last of it then :'(. It has been amazing, I have loved writing this story so much and I am so pleased that people have loved it, there is obviously going to be a sequel! i have already started to write it :P I couldnt resist.

Even though its over - still review and let me know your thought. Thanks to all of my loyal reviewers over the past few months. They have cheered me up so much. I love you all. Please read the sequel - it should be up in about 3/4 weeks - and one shots in between.

Thank you so much

xoxo


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